By Eunhyey Lok

Sitting in my evening quiet, I attune to how I am breathing, and what feels uncomfortable or pleasant inside me. It’s not quite as structured or conscious as that may sound, but I have formed a habit of scanning and pausing to notice the energy within me, stored physically. Most of the time what I find is a buzz of leftovers from the day, thoughts that haven’t quite found a place to land, emotions not yet named. 

In concert with attunement, withholding judgment of those thoughts and emotions, simply noticing or observing, rather than interpreting or understanding, helps the full range of what I am experiencing bubble to the surface. It brings a more accurate picture of the reality within me, not just what I might find acceptable. 

On days like today, when there doesn’t seem to be much in my mental tank except a dull wish for mindlessness, there is an aversion to sitting with and paying attention. Yet, there is also a hunger for rest. The grace of mindfulness is that we can notice and attune even to our urge and pull towards mindlessness. When I do that, what I notice is that a need I have is going unmet. That I am tired and ready to go down the easy and less satisfying path of junk habits. 

In Mark 8:1-3, Jesus demonstrates mindful attention towards others, attunement and awareness of their needs. Although we often focus on how Jesus provided food for the crowd of thousands, what stood out to me was what Jesus noticed:

“I have compassion for the crowd because they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat. If I send them away hungry to their homes, they will faint on the way—and some of them have come from a great distance.” 

So obvious and practical, and yet, not necessarily something I would have noticed. Noticing that they had been without food for 3 days, and concluding that they were weak enough to faint on their way to find food, strikes me as astounding given that he must also have been spent and hungry after days of intensive teaching. 

It was a gift to me that the Jesus I am connected to is someone who picks up on what is going on in those around him. This same Jesus is also training me to discover through non-judgmental attunement to the scriptures and my inner state that it is ok to heed and notice my needs and unmet desires. As a Korean-American woman in a caregiving profession, and as a wife, a mother, and an eldest daughter, this is not an intuitive posture. Yet, the same Jesus that saw the needs of the crowd so clearly, has gently led me, night after night, to pay attention to what is going on within me. 

As I experience the highlighting of my needs, I also learn to notice the many ways God affirms and meets those needs. This has greatly decreased my reactivity to the needs of others — both the withdrawing from and the rushing to meet their needs. I don’t have quite the expansive and generous attention Jesus had for the crowd, yet, as I feed on the reminders of Jesus’ attention to me, my ability to be mindful of others grows alongside that of attentiveness to myself. May we all continue to experience God’s attentiveness to us, that we may heed what is happening in ourselves and others.

Eunhyey Lok (eunhyeylok.com) is a spiritual director, licensed marriage and family therapist and ordained pastor who specializes in working with Asian Americans, as well as leaders of ministries and international NGOs. Eunhyey is based in Los Angeles with her husband and son, but keeps her Minnesota roots alive through frequent visits to her hometown.