Posted in reflections, tagged American dream, expectations, pain, pregnancy loss on February 16, 2016| Leave a Comment »
Photo by Kate Ter Haar
By Debbie Gin
Almost ten years ago, I endured one of the most painful experiences in my life. Twice. We lost our first child at 8 weeks in utero; we eventually named her Cadence. Then less than a year later, we lost Nathanial at 10 weeks in utero. (more…)
Posted in reflections, tagged cross-culture, expectations, hope on February 9, 2016| 3 Comments »
Photo by Jeff Turner
By Dorcas Cheng-Tozun
You’ve probably heard that colloquial definition of insanity that’s floated around the Internet for a while now, the one about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. No one really knows who said it and psychologists take issue with it, but the concept has stuck in our collective conscious nonetheless. (more…)
Posted in reflections, tagged expectations, perfectionism, self-care, sustainability on February 2, 2016| Leave a Comment »
Photo by Roelen Fernandez
By Jerrica Ching
Farewell to the first month of 2016! Just as some of you pointed out throughout the month of January, I too am the type of person who typically will have the same resolutions year after year. I have noticed however that after each year, the expectations that I have for myself to follow through with resolutions have become much more realistic. When the expectations for myself are reasonable, I am much more likely to follow through. (more…)
Posted in reflections, tagged expectations on May 13, 2012| 6 Comments »
Photo by Crackers93
By Joy Wong
Several weeks ago, I decided to perm my typically straight hair. It came after weeks of deliberation, and after the perm, I felt glad for the change. However, in the first week, I started getting some reactions from people that were making me extremely self-conscious. I talked to my mom about it over the phone and she said, “Why should you care what other people think? Remember — you have a right to be ugly!”
This struck me as such a strange thing to say, and yet, it felt freeing. Because my mom hadn’t seen my permed hair yet, I knew she wasn’t saying that my curly locks now made me ugly. (more…)
Posted in shared insights, tagged Asian American dream, expectations, measuring up, self-acceptance, success on March 6, 2012| 2 Comments »
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Shared by Aileen Hong
For most of my life, I really struggled with measuring up. Specifically, I felt the need to strive for the Asian American Dream. I grew up hearing stories from my grandmother about my cousins who attended Ivy League schools, got respectable high-paying jobs as doctors and lawyers, and married good-looking successful spouses. As I heard these stories, I wanted to be someone my grandmother could be proud of. I secretly hoped that I would be worthy of her praise too, not just my cousins. So, I internalized these stories of their worldly successes as expectations upon myself. (more…)
Posted in reflections, shared insights, tagged being good enough, expectations, perfectionism, raising a family, self-worth, striving, successs-driven on July 5, 2011| Leave a Comment »
Shared by Jeney Park-Hearn
What have you been learning lately?
One of the challenges I have as an Asian American woman is resisting the Superwoman image. For instance, there’s a part of me that wants to be a good mom and wife and a domestic Martha Stewart. There’s another part of me that says I have to excel in everything (more…)
Posted in spotlight, tagged acculturation, assimilation, Confucianism, culture, expectations, family, filial piety, finding one's voice, guilt, healing, parents, shame, submission, women's roles on March 15, 2011| Leave a Comment »
Jessica Chen is a full-time doctoral student at Loma Linda in Marital & Family Therapy. She has an MFT degree from Fuller Theological Seminary as well as a BA in Design Media Arts from UCLA. Her favorite food is “niu rou mien” (translation: beef noodle soup), and her favorite hobbies include calligraphy and spending time with Madeleine, her miniature schnauzer.
What are your ministry passions? How did you discern these passions in your life?
While growing up in a Taiwanese American church, I started mentoring sisters and seeing a lot of things I didn’t know how to address from a purely biblical point of view. (more…)
Posted in Joy, reflections, tagged career vs. family, expectations, marriage, women's roles on January 7, 2009| 3 Comments »
Photo by 화이남
by Joy Wong
“Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t have it all. You can have it all—you just can’t have it all at the same time.” A former female boss of mine used to quote this to me, and it always helped me adjust to the different transitions of my life, whether from college to post-college life, singleness to marriage, or moving from the east coast to the west coast. Whenever I found myself lamenting a loss of any kind, I often reminded myself that each stage in life had its own unique set of losses and blessings. (more…)
Posted in Joy, reflections, tagged culture, enneagram, expectations, people-pleasing, personality theory, personality types, self-awareness, self-worth, success-driven on September 10, 2008| 2 Comments »
Photo by Jesslee Cuizon
by Joy Wong
I recently attended a seminar on a personality theory called the Enneagram. In this theory, there are different personality types, numbered 1-9. The Enneagram personality types delve into the motivations behind our actions, thoughts, and habits. I took the seminar with thirty other chaplains of a mix of different races and ages, and I turned out to be Type 3, labeled the “Achiever” or the “Performer.” (more…)
Posted in Debbie, testimonies, tagged community, culture, empowerment, expectations, family, finding one's voice, healing, identity, integrity, Kingdom values, leadership, mentorship, parents, shame on July 8, 2008| Leave a Comment »
Photo by Sweet Trade Photography
by Debbie Gin
I used to question my integrity a lot. I felt twinges of shame whenever I interacted with people because I thought I wasn’t “the real me” in every context. I behaved one way with my peers, another way with my family, and yet another way with my professors. I thought of myself as a fraud, a chameleon, easily changed by the presenting situation. At times, I even wondered whether I was “prostituting” myself out, becoming whatever my context needed me to be.
I also felt pressure to find my own path but felt conflicted on several levels. On the one hand, I resented my parents’ strong influence and expectations; (more…)
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