Posted in reflections, tagged fears, insecurities, publishing, worship, writing on October 8, 2013| 2 Comments »
Photo by Kellene Giloff
By Vivian Mabuni
The book about my cancer journey is finished. The editorial team will begin the editing process this month. When God began opening the doors for the book to be birthed, I had to learn a whole new world: query letters, book proposals, literary agents, pub boards, platform, shopping a manuscript, and on and on. (more…)
Posted in reflections, tagged empowerment, identity, insecurities, preaching, self-acceptance, self-image, self-worth on February 19, 2013| 3 Comments »
Photo by bsabarnowl
By Margaret Yu
It was a hard night where I tossed and turned with a horrible cough and a constricted throat — and I was not even sick! However, upon hearing my alarm, I was afraid that I would have to cancel because I was not sure if I had a voice to speak. (For speakers, that is a NO-NO. I had only canceled once in my life.) (more…)
Posted in reflections, tagged affirmation, appearance, insecurities, self-acceptance on January 8, 2013| Leave a Comment »
Photo by martinak15
by Chloe Sun
The new year always involves new resolutions. It is not surprising to notice from public media and private conversations that weight loss is one of the top New Year’s resolutions. Many of us are obsessed with the way we look. We want to look good. The new year reminds us of that. (more…)
Posted in reflections, tagged insecurities, pastoral ministry, raising a family, self-doubt, uncertainty, women pastors on November 13, 2012| 8 Comments »
Photo by Shootingsnow
Is that how you become a pastor?
Your pastor calls you up and
asks for your take on being called
the outreach pastor,
not just the outreach director.
“Well, because you’re not just a lay person, Tina… you’re on the road to becoming a pastor…”
“But I’m not done with seminary yet…”
Deciding on a short phone call…
to take on a title I am working towards,
but never really wanted?
“Never thought I’d be a US pastor…”
Never thought I’d be a pastor, period! (more…)
Posted in reflections, tagged culture, identity, insecurities on July 31, 2012| Leave a Comment »
Photo by bcanepa_photos
“Growing up in a traditional Chinese family, I was told I could do better than a 99%, while I should be humble about a 100%. As a result, I always felt that there was no safe ground for me to stand on. I was either not good enough, or I had to hide whatever good that I thought I had achieved. (more…)
Posted in reflections, tagged deference, insecurities, minority, passivity, patience, self-worth, waiting on February 21, 2012| 2 Comments »
Photo by visualpanic
By Margaret Yu
It has been said that how we wait for others oftentimes is an indication of our hearts. If we are able to wait calmly, people say that we are ‘patient’; the converse, then, being that we are impatient. What is not often emphasized is the condition of our hearts as we wait. Waiting gives us a window into our soul and core. (more…)
Posted in reflections, tagged competition, insecurities, solidarity on February 7, 2012| 3 Comments »
Photo by aussiegall
By Chloe Sun
There is a saying in Chinese: “Two tigers cannot live in the same mountain.” It refers to the reality of two leaders who often cannot survive and thrive in the same realm. I think it applies to many of our ministry settings where two equally qualified and charismatic male leaders or two gifted and vocal female leaders have difficulty working together in the same realm. It is supposed that one would dominant the other, or there would be competition between the two.
As female leaders, we may face a dilemma. On the one hand, we do not want to feel alone in our ministry. On the other hand, we hesitate to have another female leader coming into our realm, for the fear that she would take the attention away from us or compete with us for influence. (more…)
Posted in reflections, tagged insecurities, invisibility, self-deprecation, self-judgment, telling our stories on May 10, 2011| 4 Comments »
Photo by Mike Bailey-Gates
by Joy Wong
Late last year, it was decided that this blog needed to expand to represent the stories and voices of evangelical Asian American women leaders outside of the immediate AAWOL core group. Getting busy and multi-tasking women with ministry and familial responsibilities to write blog entries understandably proved to be difficult. (more…)
Posted in reflections, tagged childhood, insecurities, self-worth, shame, truth-telling on March 29, 2011| Leave a Comment »
Photo by Tony the Misfit
By Joy Wong
All my life, I have had an unexplainable aversion to large groups of Asian Americans. For instance, when my husband Will wanted to check out a dumpling food truck that was swarming with Asian Americans, I felt a strong inner reluctance to approach that crowd. Another example — when I first started college, I initially felt a repulsion to the Asian American campus fellowship. Most of the time, I attributed this reaction to my introverted tendencies — but why the aversion to Asian Americans in particular?
It’s only recently that I’ve begun to unpack this strange reaction. (more…)
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged empowerment, fear, healing, identity, insecurities, not enough, self-worth, shame on February 22, 2011| 1 Comment »
Photo by seier+seier
By Margaret Yu
For the fellow women friends with whom I journey, inspired by I John 4:18-19: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us” and John 8:58: “’Very truly I tell you,’ Jesus answered, ‘before Abraham was born, I AM!’”
Fearful
i am not enough
i am doing it all wrong
i am not good enough
i am not Asian enough
i am not White enough
i am simply not good enough (more…)
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