By Angela Ryo

I love this quote by philosopher Simone Weil: “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” Like many people, I mostly think of generosity in monetary terms, but this quote reminds me that generosity with our time and presence is even more important than what we can give financially. In the book, The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, the authors contend the following:
“Time and attention are the essential materials of happiness. They are the reservoir from which our lives flow…Just as the water from a reservoir can be directed to and enrich particular areas of a landscape, the flow of our attention can enliven and enrich particular areas of our lives. So it never hurts to take a look at where our attention has been flowing, and ask if it’s going into places that benefit both the people we love and ourselves (these two things usually go together). Are we thriving? Are the activities and pursuits that make us feel most alive getting their due share? Who are the people most important to us, and are those relationships, challenges and all, getting the attention they deserve?”
Those are some excellent questions to ask! Are we paying attention to what we’re paying attention to? When we do, I think many of us find ourselves paying attention to our work or what we’re lacking rather than relationships or what we already have. Often times, our attention is directed at things rather than people. I don’t think anyone would disagree that we need to be more generous with our attention to relationship with ourselves and our loved ones. But how generous are we in forming new meaningful relationships with those who might be experiencing loneliness?
Loneliness has become a worldwide epidemic — so much so that Japan decided to appoint a “Minister of Loneliness” in 2021. According to the 2020 study conducted by health insurer, Cigna, more than three in five Americans are lonely, especially the young adults. More and more people have reported feeling like they are left out and lacking companionship[1]. Researchers also found that chronic loneliness is as destructive to our health as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day! In 2017, researchers discovered that 158,000 Americans died either through a slow process of addiction to alcohol, painkillers, or other drugs or through suicide by gunshot or overdose. Did you know that’s the equivalent of three full Boeing 737 MAXs falling out of the sky every day, with no survivors[2]?
With such horrific figures and data regarding loneliness, I wonder what we can do about it. One word of encouragement or a single gesture of care goes a long way. Are we paying attention to what we’re paying attention to? I sure hope we can be more generous with our attention to our neighbors who might be experiencing loneliness and disconnection today.
Angela Ryo currently serves as the Transitional Pastor at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Munster, IN. She enjoys taking long walks, reading, listening to NPR, and drinking good coffee with friends and strangers alike.
[1] https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/01/23/798676465/most-americans-are-lonely-and-our-workplace-culture-may-not-be-helping#:~:text=More%20than%20three%20in%20five,may%20contribute%20to%20Americans’%20loneliness.
[2] Cohen, Geoffrey L.. Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides (pp. x-xi). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition.