By Angela Ryo

When I first started doing pre-marital counseling using the program, Prepare and Enrich, I thought it was interesting that one of the things they assessed couples on was “Idealistic Distortion.” Scoring high in this category (above 65%) indicated that the person was overly optimistic and idealistic about their relationship, seeing it through “rose-colored glasses.” This wasn’t a good thing! They had a better chance of success in their marriage if they scored lower on idealistic distortion. Of course, if they score TOO low, then they have a pretty hopeless view on their relationship and there’s probably no point in getting married at all! While optimism and idealism are important in any meaningful relationships and situations, they can be dangerous if not tempered with reality and anticipation of potential suffering in our lives. 

In his book, Master of Change, Brad Stulberg introduces the term, “tragic optimism.” This term was coined by, Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and Jewish psychologist from Vienna. 

Stulberg writes, “tragic optimism is the ability to maintain hope and find meaning in life despite its inescapable pain, loss, and suffering. It is about acknowledging, accepting, and expecting that life will contain hardship, that sometimes impermanence hurts, and then trudging forward with a positive attitude nonetheless…Research shows that individuals who face life with a mindset of tragic optimism—in particular, those who expect a fair share of change and hardship—have advantageous physical and psychological responses to stress. They feel less pain, gain more fortitude, and are more likely to successfully move forward following disruption.”

By practicing tragic optimism, our interior becomes roomier and richer, more willing and ready to embrace all feelings and challenges that may come our way instead of denying or suppressing them in order to stay optimistic. I also think tragic optimism is like a muscle you build up. The more you practice coming out of difficult situations with a positive attitude, the more you believe you can. Of course, for me and other followers of Jesus, this is possible because of the example Jesus had set for us. After the cross comes the empty tomb. Whatever suffering I’m going through, there’s always new life waiting to happen just around the corner.   

Here’s an experiment that might elucidate the idea of tragic optimism even more. Curt Richter was a Johns Hopkins professor, who conducted an experiment with rats to see how long they would last before they drowned. I know. A pretty gruesome experiment! He took wild rats, renowned for their swimming ability, and dropped them into the water. He was surprised that they only lasted about 15 minutes before they stopped swimming and drowned to death. 

Then, he made a small tweak to the experiment. Right before they drowned, he picked them up and held them for a little while, and then he put them back in the water. He wondered if it would make a difference if the rats knew that the situation is not actually hopeless. 

This small change made a huge difference. When they knew there was hope in their struggle to survive, when they had a reason to keep swimming, the rats lasted for 60 hours! They did not give up, and they did not go under.  

I think the point of the experiment as well as tragic optimism is that we can accept hardships and continue our struggles when we have a reason to hope for better things ahead.  With two feet planted on the ground and eyes turned upward, we move forward with hope in our hearts. In the words of Apostle Paul: ^“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body” (2 Corinthians 4:8-10). Amen. May it be so in your life and in mine.

Angela Ryo currently serves as the Transitional Pastor at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Munster, IN. She enjoys taking long walks, reading, listening to NPR, and drinking good coffee with friends and strangers alike.