By Melanie Mar Chow

“And let us also live according to the Spirit of God that we might live out the not-so-random fruit of kindness. May we be deliberately kind each day, may we nurture an excellent attitude toward others, and grow in kindness as a way of life”.  —April Yamasaki, “Kindness: As a Way of Life”

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  Romans 8:25-26a (NIV)

As you have watched as many suns circle the earth, I have been put through a continual practice of retrieving examples of how my life does not epitomize being kind, as an invitation to allow Christ’s light to guide me.  

What better opportunity to ponder life than when you make time to do things that require waiting and waiting patiently? I think about the bad PR that annual dental visits bring. Most people are unlike me, and their teeth only require bi-annual teeth cleaning. Little-known wisdom: If you lead challenging lives, some bodies generate extra plaque in shorter times than others from the stress-comforting foods they eat. One recent revelation to address my fear of dentists is that I’ve outlived my former dentists. I know their work does NOT have a lifetime guarantee. My old fillings have allowed cavities to form under those same old fillings.  My dentist takes solid time to choose the best care, and while I wait for the procedures, I pray for others who are sitting in similar situations of waiting, recognizing that as I wait in a dental chair, it is not as severe as waiting for dialysis sessions or chemo/radiation treatments as others must do.  

You might ask then, why become a dentist? I asked a student who said the main reason is that dentists are respected.  Dentists care for your teeth better than you can and have a vested interest in their daily work.  As I found from several internet searches, dentistry is an art form. Dentists master techniques to maintain oral health, creativity to restore teeth, and advertise their work through those they’ve successfully treated.  While they are crafting their art of restoration, time and effort is required to fit and adjust crowns or implants, among other things.

I’ve employed kindness as extended grace to those who care for me. My dentist is one of many who provide thankless services that I can’t do for myself but that I absolutely need. Dentists employ kindness by providing meds to take away pain while they work. It takes time to do good work. So how does this make me practice kindness?  I appreciate the kindness some of my friends express in thankfulness to their caregivers.  I never thought until this year to thank my hairstylist, plumber, trash collector, car repair tech let alone dentist.  These workers embody kindness in doing their jobs well.  If they don’t, people like me complain. One-day-old uncollected trash in LA gets my attention, especially on hot days. So like my friends, I want to extend kindness in the same way it is offered to me.

Kindness is more about the person, not just about the job or what others do.  To that end, there is more to recognize in God’s perspective of demonstrating kindness in return.  How are you being deliberately kind?  The question revealed in waiting times is how am I not demonstrating deliberate kindness so others can see more of God and celebrate His goodness?  Thankfully, we can employ the Holy Spirit to better us and to wait patiently for Christ’s transformation.  Thank God the Spirit allowed more fruit to direct us to God’s goodness beyond kindness (see Galatians 5:22-23).

Rev. Melanie Mar Chow serves God through Asian American Christian Fellowship, the campus ministry division of the Japanese Evangelical Missionary Society (JEMS). She has been an ordained American Baptist minister since 2004. A Pacific Northwest native, she currently lives with her husband and daughter in Southern California.