By Eunhyey Lok

This past July, my family and I drove from California to Minnesota. In the months leading up to this drive, I actively sought signs and reminders of God’s faithfulness. The drive marked our transition from our life in Los Angeles to a new way of living in my childhood home. 

The months preceding were a blur, packed with selling off pieces of our life on Facebook Marketplace and Offer Up; meeting one “last” time with friends, family and neighbors (and then meeting them again for the “real” last time); and squeezing in last dental, medical and hair/nail appointments before having to find a whole new slew of providers. In the midst of saying goodbye to the familiar, I experienced a richness and vibrance in my life I had not tasted in years. Although the sense that moving was still the right next step, it was bittersweet to leave behind what felt like such a precious season in my life. Why, when opportunities for which I’d waited over 15 years were blooming left and right, was I being pulled away to the unknown? Re-reading my journal entries from my last couple weeks in California, I saw the signs I needed of God’s faithfulness.

They came through the tremendous affirmation and validation of the work I had done with the clients and directees I saw for the last time in person. They came through images while receiving spiritual direction, of God ferrying me across the water, while I lay at the bottom of the boat and the worries and last minute craziness swarmed around it; through God’s words that “Nothing has changed – I am still with you, and I will get you across.”  And through the cake my friend baked with my son and his friends’ faces gracing the top, to let us know we mattered to her, her son and the rest of their family.

I saw the signs then and along our 2,000 mile drive to the Twin Cities: connecting with friends, witnessing otherworldly beauty, and making it to a new hotel each night without mishap. And as my husband, son and I began uncovering our new life in Minnesota, God continued to share reminders of faithfulness. Recently, one of the signs came through Psalm 43:3 (NIV):

    “Send me your light and your faithful care. Let them lead me”.  

The phrase “faithful care” stirred me. The word “emet” in Hebrew in reference to God underscores God’s reliability and trustworthiness. The context of the psalm laments oppression or betrayal by society or enemies. Unlike the psalmist, I face the smaller challenges of uncertainty and confusion about what I and my little family are to make of life in this new environment. Yet, through these words I felt God’s tending and nourishing of me. They reminded me that I have a guide through this uncertainty, a beacon of familiarity – God’s reliable and faithful care of me. 

Things are still very much in flux, but since I received that reminder, I am noticing what already feels more settled. This has helped free up my soul to try remembering God’s “emet” more and more often. As I do that, I have been able to take new risks by slowing down and waiting for God to act. I am grateful for this small piece of freedom as I navigate this next stage of life.

Eunhyey Lok (eunhyeylok.com) is a spiritual director, licensed marriage and family therapist and ordained pastor who specializes in working with Asian Americans, as well as leaders of ministries and international NGOs. Eunhyey is based in Los Angeles with her husband and son, but keeps her Minnesota roots alive through frequent visits to her hometown.