By April Yamasaki

When I was called to serve as an interim pastor, I had a Master of Christian Studies degree, some experience preaching, teaching, and being involved in congregational life, but no particular pastoral experience. The church’s senior pastor had left abruptly the year before, and the church had been searching for new leadership without success.

So the church asked me to serve while they continued to search, and the conference minister in my denomination agreed to meet with me periodically during that interim time. To my surprise, God took me from not at all thinking about pastoral ministry to being curious and then excited about what I might learn and contribute to the church during the next number of months.

As it turned out, what all of us thought would be a short stint as an interim pastor turned into a call that lasted for over twenty-five years of ministry in that church. I can still hardly believe that I served as the lead pastor of a growing congregation for all those years!

Meeting several times with our conference minister helped orient me to my new role and laid a good foundation for my years of ministry that followed. He welcomed my questions, but I soon discovered that he rarely gave a direct answer. Instead, he would ask questions that helped me think more deeply about the issue or pastoral problem I faced. He would suggest helpful resources. Instead of simply telling me what to do, he helped me to reflect, discern, and discover who I was as a ministering person and how God was calling me to respond in any given situation.

In John 6, the people ask Jesus three questions, and each time he responds in a way that encourages them to think more deeply. A crowd had followed him to the other side of the lake, and when they see him, they ask, “Rabbi, when did you get here?” (v. 25). But instead of answering them in hours or minutes, Jesus directs their attention to a more important question: why were they looking for him? Was it only because he had given them bread when they were hungry? Instead, he tells them, “Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you” (v. 27).

The people ask, “What must we do to do the works God requires?” (v. 28). But instead of giving them a detailed to-do list, Jesus replies, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent” (v. 29).

They ask, “What sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you? What will you do?” (v. 31). But the people had already seen Jesus multiply the bread and fish to feed the crowd. They had been part of that crowd! So Jesus says to them, “You have seen me and still you do not believe” (v. 36). With these words, Jesus as Teacher challenges them to re-visit and re-think their own questions. 

Like the crowds around Jesus, as I turn to God in prayer, I often have questions and long for a straight answer. What must I do and when? What will God do next in my life? But just as Jesus directs the crowds to more important questions, just as my conference minister encouraged me to reflect more deeply on who God was calling me to be, the answers to my questions do not always come in the form that I might long for. The answers to all of our questions might not come in the ways that we expect. Instead, Jesus as Teacher encourages us to think more deeply, to continue wrestling with our questions, and live into them. So may God’s grace and guidance lead us forward. 

April Yamasaki serves as resident author with a liturgical worship community, edits a daily devotional magazine, writes online and in print, and often speaks in churches and other venues. She is the author of Sacred Pauses, Four Gifts, This Ordinary, Extraordinary Life, and other books on living with faith and hope. Her two websites are AprilYamasaki.com and WhenYouWorkfortheChurch.com.