By Tina Teng-Henson

(Continued from Part 4–>)

Then we moved to the pantry where all the food was stored, and blessed the Latina woman who had experienced things in that room. I put my hands on her shoulders, I touched her head and her feet, and I did a very brief version of the prayer of St. Fursey (Ireland) that I’d been doing all month in honor of St. Patrick. 

A Prayer of St. Fursey
7th Century – died 650 AD
The arms of God be around my shoulders,
The touch of the Holy Spirit upon my head,
The sign of Christ’s cross upon my forehead,
The sound of the Holy Spirit in my ears,
The fragrance of the Holy Spirit in my nostrils,
The vision of heaven’s company in my eyes,
The conversation of heaven’s company on my lips,
The work of God’s church with my hands,
The service of God and my neighbour in my feet,
And a home for God in my heart,
And to God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit my entire being.
Amen

I prayed in Spanish so she would be able to understand what I was saying – and I asked her name, so I could say her name out loud. I can’t recall now what her name was, but it was familiar to me, and beautiful. Then we took a picture, the four of us, to capture this happy moment – after I went in and blessed every storage rack in that room, and blessed the food bins themselves – that there would always be enough and an abundance – and that the people of the building would be well-cared for in the preparation of this food. I am glad she got to look on and watch me as I did this. That felt important to do. For her to see me in my pastoral stole, with my bottle of oil, touching and anointing her space, her shelves, this room, this day. 

From there, we went to the second floor, which was really just four small rooms, where a lot of activity had been of concern to the staff. 

L mentioned several times that the care staff wouldn’t go up to the second floor and enjoy the nice staff kitchenette because there had been heavy footsteps heard up there, walking about. 

One room was a well-apportioned office space, pretty spacious, with an L-shaped desk in the corner. Off to the right of that was a bedroom – with a little bathroom adjacent to it. 

Across the hallway, there was a really nice staff room with a table and chairs – a vending machine. Next to that room, off to the side, there were a bunch of activities-related supplies on the floor, piled up in the corner, under the eaves. I said to L that there were lots of good hiding places up there, and she laughed and agreed! Her stuff always seemed to be piled up, somewhat organized, somewhat in disarray.  But I understood, as a mother of three, myself :). 

In any case, L took us to the office-room up there, but wouldn’t enter the bedroom. She told us, and she said this had to be kept in confidence, that the former marketing director had taken his life in that room, 3-1/2 years prior. They thought he might be one of the souls stuck in the building, unable to leave, walking about, touching people to let them know he was there, trying to get their attention.  

I told L I’d need to sit down because this one would be different. I pulled out one of the Bibles my spiritual director had felt led to give me just the day before, and I opened the scriptures to Acts 1, where Judas is described as having taken his own life, after realizing that what he’d done to betray Jesus had led to Jesus’ death by crucifixion. I sat down in the middle of that room, facing the doorway, and I earnestly read through the passage about how another was chosen to take Judas’ position after that.

And then I reached out to hold Rubin’s hand, so together, we could pray for this former employee. I tried to speak to him as directly as I could, with as much concern and care, empathy and compassion as I felt for him.  I thanked him for his time of service, and acknowledged just how much pain and despair he must have felt to have taken his life in that room. 

I told him that God didn’t fault him, but simply wanted to give him the biggest hug and welcome him home. That just as Judas didn’t know all of what was going on in the bigger picture – how he was implicated in what unfolded – but how God even used that for his purposes in the world…God knew this man’s heart – what his life had been all about. He was remembered. He was acknowledged. He was thanked. He was understood. 

There was mercy, there was forgiveness, there was grace awaiting this poor soul. (To be continued…)

Tina Teng-Henson serves as a spiritual director and hospice chaplain. As a wife and mother of three, she occasionally guest-preaches and teaches. When she’s not volunteering at her children’s schools, she plays volleyball, reads, and writes.