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“Make sure to use self-care!”
This is a frequently used exhortation in the Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) community, and it has quickly become a catchphrase in regular conversation among the colleagues in my cohort–though, all we end up saying to get the message across is, “self-care!”
I tend to find these two hurdles of self-care to be the most challenging 1) figuring out where care is needed, and 2) admitting that care is indeed needed. The way I was raised, a visit to the doctor meant I was really sick or needed a medical form to be filled out for school…
In other words, wait until the symptoms are unbearable and help is absolutely necessary before seeking help. Sometimes, when I feel contemplative, I examine myself to identify the dimensions of my life that this kind of thinking has seeped into. Am I clinging to God just as much now as I did during dark seasons of desperation? Am I intentional about engaging in relationships and surrounding myself with community before I find myself going through days of feeling isolated or lonely?
It is much easier to lightly dust off the blinds every week or so than to wipe off the grime from months of buildup. Has anyone else ever moved into a new apartment that had dirty blinds?
At present, I am learning a great deal about self-caring for my body. In particular, my bones and posture. One month ago, I stepped up to a chiropractic consultation station and my conversation with the chiropractor went something like this:
Chiropractor: Would you like a free assessment of your head, neck, shoulder and hip alignments?
Me: Umm… I don’t think I want to know.. What if I have really bad posture or something?
Chiropractor: Knowledge is power! It’s better to find out now than later.
Me: Yeah… True… Okay, here we go…
To be honest, these beginning stages of chiropractic care have made me a lot more aware of pains in my body that I ignored or grew accustomed to over time and I am ambivalently grateful for that. Even so, this increased awareness has moved me into action to get the care I need. At least I can remind myself that it is easier for my bones to be adjusted now before they move way off balance over years of poor posture.
It is kind of like dusting my blinds.
Thank God for using people to help me recognize the parts of me that need care, and for working through people to give me the kind of care that I need.
Elizabeth Chang is getting an MFT (Marriage and Family Therapy) degree at Seattle Pacific University. She graduated Taylor University with a BA in Psychology and Biblical Literature, and was raised in New York City.
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I think about similar questions often! Self-care is so important! “Life is short.” ”Life is long.” Each quip has resonated with me, relative to specific circumstances. What I’m certain of today is this: Life is not long enough to pass time unsure of why we do what we do. Life is not long enough to engage in behavior that distracts from, or destructs our achievement crafting process? “Cleaning the blinds” is a great way to ensure we are checking in with ourselves!
Yes! Thank you for your reminder to be a good steward of the life God gives us. Each day is a gift full of opportunities to make the most out of! “Life is long” especially resonates with me during this season of my life because I am needing the reminder that some things take a lot of time and patience to be fulfilled.
I really like the part where you share how you ask yourself if you are clinging to God now as much as you did in more desperate times and if you are being intentional about engaging in relationships and surrounding yourself with a community of support before things suddenly go south. I feel that it is so important to prevent any hardships that may come along in the future before things escalate and become too difficult to deal with. Growing up, times were just a bit harder for me, and I was constantly relying on the Lord for guidance, even for the tiny things. My relationship with God was great, partly because I just REALLY needed Him then, or at least, things seemed bad enough that I FELT the need for Him. Now, since things have gotten so much easier, it’s more difficult to stay close to God. There is no constant struggle that leads me to the Lord. What I have now is the memory of how good He was to me during difficult times, and how good He is to those that struggle now. I try to make it a point to thank God for every little thing that comes my way because I know that everything good is from Him, and I guess that’s why I tend to have such strong positive feelings for things that don’t seem to be a big deal to others. Nevertheless, I cannot deny the fact that it is harder now to acknowledge His constant presence because I do not have constant pain. For possibly the first time, I have trouble staying close to the Lord, because now I have to take the extra step to remind myself of His goodness. But I know it’s worth staying close to the Lord. Because I would not have all of this without Him, and also because I don’t want to fall from Him and end up regretting having to work my way back to Him.
I think the most important part of prevention is being intentional and being active about prevention. You don’t want to wait until things get horrible. It’s vital for us to constantly ask ourselves the right questions, and I guess to use your term…”self-care.” Sometimes we feel the need to have permission to care for ourselves, but I think that God’s love for us gives us all the permission we need. If anything, His love for us demands that we self-care.
AMEN! Those are powerful words that I deeply relate to. The pattern of drifting from God during the easier times in life, pressing back into intimacy with God when the distance is finally felt, and returning back to the complacency that leads back to the drifting… it is very reflective of the Israelites in the Old Testament: the people of God would prosper for a season, turn to other gods as things were alright, eventually find themselves in some kind of trouble, and again cry out to God… and repeat.
Your response reminds me of this passage: “Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced, you his servants, the descendants of Abraham, his chosen ones, the children of Jacob.” – Psalm 105:4-6
May we seek to answer this call for remembrance of the Lord’s hand in our lives.
Wow. I never thought to relate it to that. When we read Bible stories like that, sometimes we think, “Wow. How stupid are they?” It’s horrible how we never truly realize that we do the same things. Even after going through the epiphany of “hmm…maybe the people in the Bible aren’t so different from us. They make the same mistakes that we do, and we’re not any better or worse than them,” I still find myself dumbfounded after realizing that I continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. It’s like watching Korean dramas and yelling at the TV that what the character is doing is just so stupid and wrong, and then finding out that we continue to do the same exact thing.
Liz, I am glad that you are taking care of yourself and tuning into your body talk. On Saturday I went to see an acupuncturist in Korea Town in LA and got an awesome treatment of my right ankle and left knee injuries. It is amazing how the needles took care of inflammation immediately! I am delighted to know that you are taking care of yourself.
Thank you for the encouragement, Young. So good to hear that you are active in taking care of yourself as well! I am reminded again that we need to care for all aspects of our being, and physical health is one of them! 🙂