Photo by Kellene Giloff

By Vivian Mabuni

The book about my cancer journey is finished. The editorial team will begin the editing process this month. When God began opening the doors for the book to be birthed, I had to learn a whole new world: query letters, book proposals, literary agents, pub boards, platform, shopping a manuscript, and on and on. My learning curve was almost a vertical up and down. Now I am familiar with these publishing terms, but the same feelings of being overwhelmed have been replaced by a new set of fears: launching a book, juggling a growing travel and speaking schedule, fiddling with another proposal for book number two. I circle around again to that familiar feeling of inadequacy, of not being _______ enough, of being way in over my head. Part of me wants to fall into a hole and take a long nap.

Like the Israelites who needed reminding and re-reminding, I needed a perspective restorer which came from my husband, Darrin, two years ago.  On the phone, during the pause before a connecting flight to his ministry meetings, Darrin shared wise words that restored hope: “We don’t have control over how the Lord blesses or gifts us. We are stewards of what He shows us to do and to be. This (the writing) for you is an act of worship.”

An act of worship. That changes everything. It alleviates the pressure of having to “make it happen” or control the outcome of this whole crazy adventure. Darrin encouraged me to just write. Where God takes this whole book thing is completely in His hands. When I first started blogging during cancer treatment, every entry felt like an act of worship. I wrote from my heart and there was no striving. No proofreading. It was holy ground. I have much to learn about the nuts and bolts of writing and trust that those things will come as I continue, but more important is the posture of my heart.

And today, as I sit feeling fearful and inadequate about the road ahead, I’m reminded of the simple truth of dedicating my heart and actions to the Lord. Looking back over this two year book publishing adventure, I see God’s faithfulness. His purposes will be accomplished. My choice is to shift the pressure of trying to control the outcome, which I fully know is an illusion, to that of opening my hands and lifting my works to the King.

This act of worship spills over into every area of life — into the mountains of unending laundry, helping with homework, walking the dog, conversations with the neighbor, the everything of the everyday. Stewarding well our lives, our experiences, our relationships, our stuff, is a form of worship.

You and I have been entrusted with leading in various places and in various capacities. All of it is an act of worship.

May Jesus be lifted high.

“For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.” (Romans 11:36 NASB)

Vivian Mabuni and her husband Darrin work with Epic Movement, the Asian American ministry of Cru. Vivian is a mom of three kids and a cancer survivor.  Her first book, “Warrior in Pink: A Story of Cancer, Community and the God Who Comforts” will be available in bookstores April 2014.