Photo by colin leong

By Tina Teng-Henson

these days I think a lot about my family

I don’t think I would have done this before I had a child

she’s invited me to spend more time simply being…and thinking

she’s made me rethink my calling and  vocation

part of me wishes I had my two hands available for the things I used to do like write emails and wash the dishes

the rest of me is kind of glad … I don’t have to write emails anymore or wash the dishes

even this, I am writing using a voice recorder on my cellphone at the park. The laptop battery has died and it must stay at home.

I realize I speak differently than I write

is it a seasonal thing or are the changes for real

do I really want to finish the mdiv or am I just finishing it because I feel like I should

meanwhile my daughter sits next to me eating grass

An older Korean woman tells me that her daughter pays her too little to take care of her grandson

she has a life of her own, she tells me

so she spends the money earned watching her grandson..on evening dance classes once a week.

but for me this is my life

you couldn’t pay me to do this…i gladly do it… I give up my life..for this child but also for me… for the first time in a long while I’m pretty happy

happy. that’s not a word I usually use

But i’m starting to like how it feels to say that, to feel that

I used to write essays… But that was before I had a baby

who knew poetry was for parents

Tina Teng-Henson has been blessed to learn + grow alongside so many different people, in so many places: Long Island, NY — Harvard College + the South End of Boston — Nairobi, Kenya and Lanzhou, China.  She is working towards her Master of Divinity at Fuller‘s Northern California campus.