When I provide therapy for couples who are struggling in the face of their child’s challenges, I often find that the role of ‘parent’ to their child can easily overthrow the role of ‘lover’ to one’s life partner. There have been many sessions when focus on a couple’s marital relationship significantly benefited their parent-child relationships. A few of my favorite questions to ask partners are, “Tell me a memory from your first few years of relationship with each other. How do you demonstrate love towards each other? Who in your community is invested in journeying through life with you?”

I attended seven weddings in 2014, and will likely be attending more this year and in the years to come. I think my life has officially shifted into a season of attending countless wedding ceremonies, celebrating the loving relationships that friends have come to discover.

In my understanding of marriage, it is the joining of not only two people but of two communities. The wedding ceremony is a public display of the wedded couple’s commitment to each other and a communal affirmation of support in commitment and favor for the couple. In Korean culture, weddings especially mark the joining of two families. It is a beautiful representation of community, and my eyes water more and more with each ceremony I attend.

When the bride or groom are a friend whose journey I know very deeply, I am moved in amazement by the way God brings people together and by the way two people can make such a courageous commitment to love each other. This was especially true when I attended my childhood best friend’s wedding a few weeks ago. She asked me to share a congratulatory song during the reception, and I managed to find some words to celebrate her relationship with her husband and to express my understanding of wedding ceremonies.

As women in leadership, there are many stories of families, weddings, and marriage that float around in our personal lives and in our professional lives. Whether married or not, thoughts about weddings and relationships are all too familiar at times. We think of our friendships, our parents’ marriage, our friends’ marriages, our current marital status, and the thoughts can come with mixed feelings. The awesome metaphor that marriage can be a reflection of Christ’s love in relationship with the Church is a familiar message, but how about your thoughts on the awesome metaphor that friendship can be a reflection of Christ’s love in relationship with the Church?

I share my congratulatory song’s lyrics here for you to ponder about Christ’s love and perhaps reminisce about your own seasons of weddings, marriages, and friendships. Does this not apply to our deep friendships as well?

Divine Love