Once, during my sophomore year of high school, I went to the salon and asked the stylist to trim about three inches off. I left crying because they cut six inches off instead.

Fast forward to present.

Recently, I decided to go to the salon to get my haircut. I was planning to get another trim, layer it like I usually do, and be content with the way I’ve gotten haircuts for the past several years. I left smiling because they convinced me to get an “inverse bob” cut by chopping seven inches off instead. I felt refreshed and strengthened to embrace the major life changes I have been encountering over the past two months.

The past two months of my life have been chaotic with multiple unplanned cross-country flights to visit my parents while figuring out a new living situation because one of my roommates is moving out. These two unexpected occurrences among ongoing developments in life have created a season of heavy grief and immense excitement.

As for my home, I thought I had until December to figure my living situation out, but change came swiftly and abruptly. One of my roommates had come across an opportunity that she could not refuse, so my other roommate and I supported her in it. Since my other roommate is engaged to her fiancee and not available to sign another year-long lease with me elsewhere, it is one less option to find an apartment for the two of us to share. We all have to find new places to live. So, packing ensues!

As for my parents, the past two months have been a reminder to me that I am not the only one tackling year after year of life. My parents are too. This summer, I have taken multiple unplanned cross-country flights to visit my parents because my mom was hospitalized and is going through ongoing treatment for her health. The doctors discovered a large tumor in her brain, and are finding ways to provide interventions and treatment for her.

And, apart from the unexpected, my significant other and I have been having more conversations about the next steps of our relationship and wedding planning. Yes, I am eagerly anticipating a special symbol of our commitment!

These are just three of the many categories of life. Can you relate to the chaos?

This certainly is not the only season during which I’ve encountered a lot of change in life, but the change has been significant enough for me to chop off more than half of my hair for the first time. A haircut can symbolize a major change in life. Only now do I truly understand the saying. A coworker shared with me that he gets a tattoo for every major change in life.

The more I reflect on the way we process change, the more I realize that there is great depth to the use of rituals and ceremonies that symbolically represent that which occurs within the heart. Like baptism and communion, to publicly declare that something has changed within me is a beautiful and meaningful expression; not only do I get to declare and acknowledge my internal experience, but I get to invite others into my journey.

What are your public expressions of internal change?

Liz Chang resides in Seattle, WA and works for Navos as a substance abuse prevention & intervention specialist at a local middle school, and as a child and family therapist. She graduated from Seattle Pacific University with a Masters of Science degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, and is working towards certification as a Chemical Dependency Professional.