Photo by steve p2008

By Melanie Mar Chow

One of the best books I’ve read about leadership is the 2013 bestseller and Oprah Winfrey book club recommendation, Give and Take by Adam Grant, a professor at the Wharton School of Business.

The book’s premise is that despite the perception that giving is costly, the counterintuitive reality is that being able to give in relationships to assist others will, in fact, benefit leadership.  As givers, leaders demonstrate their generosity in their ideas, skills, abilities, time and abilities as well as their ability to generously connect with others who can benefit from what they offer.  As they give, they empower others not only to receive, but also to form a better community.  Having people participate generously provides benefits that far outweigh the risks of being taken advantage of if one gives too much.

Why counterintuitive?  It is often thought that givers are stereotypically people who get stepped on or overlooked by those who choose who to advance in leadership.  But unbeknownst to many until studied by Grant, givers who do so generously and strategically gain because they motivate others to do so which produces a flood of response and willingness to collaborate.   Giving is a powerful tool or ability especially in a team setting.

In Acts 20:35, Paul says, “In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

The value of stewarding one’s abilities and possessions is also an attribute of God’s recognition.  In 2 Corinthians 9, Paul reminds us in verse 6 and the following that “whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.”

In this season of thanksgiving, one of the main reasons for being thankful is to recognize generosity.  Paul’s final encouragement in this passage in v. 11 notes, “you will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.”

One of my spiritual gifts is giving, but it was not always easy for me to give.  Sometimes, I didn’t think what I had to offer was good in comparison to what others had.  Giving comes easy now because I have taken to heart that I can give generously because not only is it a commandment, it is for the purpose of building God’s kingdom.  Like Grant’s book indicates, communities will be better and more productive when the ability to give works for collaboration and recognizes sufficiency in others.

My favorite memories of Thanksgiving as a young Christian was being able to participate in potlucks.  I noticed that when I was able to be generous, others responded back with generosity.  One of my favorite potluck memories was when a young college student brought a McDonald’s bucket of fries. In spite of the criticism of two older women that his offering seemed like an afterthought, the screams of joy from the children brought a big smile to the young man’s face.   Though it wasn’t like the womens’ large platters of hand-rolled sushi or homemade teriyaki fried chicken wings, the willingness of the young man to contribute touched my heart.  Though he could not cook, he was thoughtful to bring something.

I hope that the practice of giving through the Asian American church potluck is not a thing of the past.  Too many times, I see churches providing a meal and asking for payment in return.  The Asian American potluck offered an opportunity for those in college and older to learn how to give to bless others. It’s something I hope will continue to model the importance of generosity in our communities.

Rev. Melanie Mar Chow serves God through Asian American Christian Fellowship, the campus ministry division of the Japanese Evangelical Missionary Society (JEMS). She has been an ordained American Baptist minister since 2004. A Pacific Northwest native, she currently lives with her husband and daughter in Southern California.