Photo by Simon Matzinger

By Jerrica KF Ching

I believe that some of my fellow AAWOL sisters will agree that giving comes as second nature, while taking is quite a challenge. As Joy Wong pointed out in her most recent entry, the idea of taking brings upon shame, guilt, and doubt. What right do we have to take?  Giving is meant to be selfless, so therefore how do we find the balance of channeling our gifts of leadership by giving and the need to compromise and rest by taking?

My job as a child and family therapist is simultaneously the most rewarding experience and the most exhausting. I am privileged everyday to be allowed into a client’s world, share in their struggle, search for hope, and walk through their journey with them.  With this privilege also comes the knowledge of difficulties and hardships, some which I wish never happened to my clients, and now I share in that burden with them to heal from it all. Whenever I feel the oncoming of a slight cough, hints of a fever, or I overhear a colleague in the office next to mine sneezing, I immediately panic that I am falling ill.  My first thought is always, “But what about the clients?  What if they are in a crisis and need to speak with me today?  What if I don’t see them today and then something bad happens tomorrow?”  The questions become more catastrophic if I ponder on these for too long.  Taking sick time is not something that I enjoy, as I begin to feel those pangs of guilt that I am leaving those who I serve alone and without a sounding board.

In the midst of this struggle, my supervisor gave me the analogy of the oxygen mask procedures on airplanes, and the importance of putting on your own mask first before helping others. She gently reminded me that I am a human, and like all other humans sometimes I will fall ill.  When I fall ill, she reminded me to remember that if I don’t take time to heal at this moment, I may be taking even more time later in the future.  Matthew 11:28-30 reminds those of us who constantly give, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  God encourages us to take rest, reminds us to take time for ourselves, and is always leading us regardless if it is a time of giving or a time of taking.

Being able to give and serve others with humility is something that I, as well as probably many other AAWOL sisters, set out to do. I feel that we all must remember though that although we pour our hearts into giving, we must also strive to use equal amounts of grace when it comes to taking.  We are human, we will become weary and burdened, and when we do we must seek out God to rest.

Jerrica KF Ching lives in the beautiful state of Washington and works as a Mental Health Primary Care Provider serving children, adolescents, and their families at Columbia Wellness.  She graduated with an MA in Marriage, Couple, and Family Counseling from George Fox University and is working towards becoming a licensed marriage and family therapist. Her research on racial colorblindness has recently been published in The International Journal of Social Science Studies.