Photo by SAVAGE_02

By Ajung Sojwal

As I write this, I wrestle with the long-held notion of gender binary that is now being challenged by society. In a world where the struggle to conform or break out of long-expected female and male roles is an issue, I find asking myself, What does it really mean to see myself as a female created in the image of God?

Genesis 1:27 says God created humankind in his image; unequivocally, it says, that in the image of God he created them male and female. The chapter ends with God giving both the male and female the same authority over all his creation and we are told he is very pleased with it all. I certainly see no language of hierarchy or subjugation of one gender over the other in this. Now, if this is the intent and goodness of God’s creation before the Fall, surely, whatever got twisted in the aftermath of the Fall, in Jesus Christ it is restored and redeemed to God’s original plan and purpose. The original plan and purpose, as I understand, is that male and female together and separately represent God’s image in its fullness. And, both are given full authority, privilege and access to all of God’s creation.

However, my lived experience as a female in the world, and particularly in the arena of Christian leadership, has woefully lacked this resurrection reality. Often, the environment propagates the idea that the male alone bears the image of God and to the male alone is given authority, privilege and access in God’s country. Beyond the usual debate about male and female roles in the church, I am increasingly aware that the whole idea of gender binary has now broken loose and that I can no longer linger in the idea of God’s image being represented predominantly within the physical representation of male and female bodies.

For instance, it is deeply perplexing to try and understand what it means for someone else to feel like a male forced to live in a female body or vice versa. These issues glaringly expose my petty assumptions about a God who is and will always be beyond my grasp. Regardless, in my heart and deep within my spirit, there is never a doubt that I am created in God’s image — no less than any man, or woman, for that matter.

In the midst of living into the complex issue of gender, here in America, my spiritual struggle is to anchor myself in the words of the resurrected Christ who said to the shocked women standing by an empty tomb, “Do not be afraid.” I take this to mean courage in the fact that Jesus indeed has unshackled all oppressive human expectations of what it means to be dead or non-existent, which for many who are female is the lived reality. It is for me to embrace with courage the authority given to me, a female, along with the two Marys, to bear witness; to proclaim the good news of the resurrection; and lastly, not to be afraid of asking difficult questions of my God who brought me into being with the dignity of his image imprinted in me.

I realize, it’s still a struggle to bear witness to the fact that life beyond the empty tomb is truly no longer what was assumed, and an even greater struggle for many to accept that the first act of the resurrection by Jesus was to empower women to be apostles. As a woman, living out God’s call in a world that still adheres to the understanding of certain rights being reserved only for the man, I dare stand with courage and conviction that it’s enough for me to be known by Jesus and for him to call me by name even as I stand bewildered at the disappearance of things familiar.

Ajung Sojwal is the Interim Rector at Trinity Episcopal Church, Tariffville,CT. She lives with her husband in Tariffville, CT.