By Wendy Choy-Chan

A very familiar verse from the Bible is, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9). It follows Paul’s pleading with the Lord to remove his thorn, something Paul was unable to do himself. It was a weakness of incapability, of powerlessness. I cannot help but think (cynically): What else can we do but to rely on God’s power, when we cannot do anything to change the situation? But how about when we do have something to fight with and fight back?

I was preparing for a sermon on Numbers 12:1-16, where Miriam and Aaron were opposing Moses. In their accusations, they were discrediting, insulting, or — one can even say — persecuting Moses. What intrigued me was not what YHWH did; yes, He heard, He spoke, and He acted to vindicate Moses. But what intrigued me was what Moses did not do — no defending of himself or rebuking his siblings. Was Moses incapable of and powerless in standing up for himself? Did he not have anything to fight with? Did he choose on purpose to become weak?

I am reminded of the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change” — to seek and rely on God’s power and His working when I am weak and powerless; “Courage to change the things I can” — to seek His empowerment to give me power to change the situation. But there is a third scenario, like Moses’ situation, where there is something I can do, yet I choose not to — choosing to become weak. That certainly takes wisdom to discern, but more than that, it takes humility to stay still, to take the insult and endure the attack, and wait on God to speak and act.

Most of the time, my prayer is to ask God to give me power, and to let me show the world what God can do through me. While I may lack the wisdom and sensitivity to stay still and let God speak and act, I think it has more to do with my self-identity and lack of humility. I don’t want to be seen as weak, as defenseless and powerless. I want respect, and I want recognition. God can and will be victorious, provided that I am part of it, that I am the instrument of His victory. But I am reluctant to choose to be weak so that God can be victorious without me.

A song I really like goes like this:

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
Within your mighty hand
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

Often, I ask God for strength so that I can stay afloat and swim to shore. (And sometimes he gives me strength to do just that.) But am I willing to let God pick me up and soar in the sky? No matter how drenched in water I am, no matter how pitiful I look? Am I willing to let go of my victory for God’s victory? Even when He may not speak and act as quickly as He did for Moses? Am I willing to choose to be weak and wait? Am I willing to rely on His grace to respond to Him in humility? So that His power can be made perfect in my weakness?

Wendy Choy-Chan came to North America from Hong Kong when she was 15. After graduating with a MScE, she worked as a telecommunications engineer for a few years before becoming a full-time mom. She earned her MA in Theology at Fuller Theological Seminary in 2016, with an emphasis in biblical studies. Despite living in the coffee capital (Seattle), Wendy enjoys scouting out tea shops with her husband and two daughters.