Photo by Milan Čarňanský

By Ajung Sojwal

The word “temperance” for me, connects most strongly to The Temperance Movement in history against alcohol consumption. Being in a place to hear life stories of many parishioners, I am deeply aware of the destruction alcoholism brings into the lives of individuals, families and communities.

As a pastor, I see alcoholism or any other addiction for that matter, not just as a social issue but also a spiritual one. The power of addiction in altering every single fiber in the human body, mind and soul are beyond my comprehension. This insidious power is probably why the pioneers of Alcoholics Anonymous encouraged their members to trust in a higher (spiritual) power to get on their road to recovery.

I suspect, the practice of temperance as a virtue related to the control of carnal appetites led to the belief that addiction is about a character flaw. Having listened to harrowingly painful stories of lives destroyed by addiction, I know anybody can become a victim of it. There is much truth in what Anne Wilson Schaef, the psychotherapist and organizational consultant says about us, that our society itself shows all the signs of classic addiction.

To understand myself within such a society is also to understand that I too am not immune to addictive behavior. But my hope is in the words of Jesus, “I did not come for the healthy, but for those who need a doctor”(Luke 5:32). Jesus sees beneath our facades of self-control and our misplaced confidence in the co-called perfect balance of temperance; so I cling to him who can save us from such a pain—Jesus, who has overcome our devastatingly seductive world.

There is much wisdom in what the Twelve Step Program states — that the experience of “powerlessness” is where we all must begin. The honest confrontation of our powerlessness in the face of our hidden addictions beyond the more visible addiction to illicit drugs and alcohol is where our freedom in Jesus too can begin.

To recognize our powerlessness is not about weakness, rather it is about finding the courage to abandon our futile efforts to control life. In the acknowledgement of our powerlessness we are freed to recognize our common need for support, for forgiveness, for love, for courage and for healing and salvation. My very simplistic understanding of addiction is that it creeps into our life in our pursuit to deny, bury or hide the many forms of pain that come our way.

Deep within me, I carried a pain for so long that came from a sense of being dismissed and rejected by the very “church” I sought to serve because I didn’t fit into the traditional image of a priest. Only when I came to terms that the Church I experience as an institution is not the same thing as the church that is the Body of Christ did my pain slowly turn to hope.

In that recognition of my powerlessness to change the Church, I found courage to cut loose my addiction to validation from a man-made Institution. The precariously balanced temperance so that I don’t offend the Institution for fear of being stripped of my call to the Body of Christ is now exposed in my soul. In this exposure alone have I seen what genuine love for the Body of Christ looks like. I am learning to embrace more fully, more courageously, my call into the living, growing, moving, passionate Body of Christ wherein lies our true belonging.

Ajung Sojwal is Rector of St. George’s Episcopal Church in Hempstead, NY.