Photo by I am R.

By Jerrica KF Ching

When I first think of the word “honor,” I immediately associate it with acknowledgment and how individual actions can either acknowledge or discredit one’s self and impact one’s interactions with peers, family, and acquaintances. Specifically during this time of self-reflection, I think of how I am able to honor my culture as an Asian American woman. As a fourth-generation Asian American, I grew up speaking no amount of Cantonese and was raised by my parents to embrace individualism and independence – traits that, at the core, are very Western-driven.

Recently I have had conversations with several clients who are first-generation living in the United States. They share with me that their parents “don’t understand” and will remind clients of the traditions and beliefs that are important to their heritage culture. Clients report that they are reminded on a daily basis to contribute to the family unit, or to embark on career paths that are suitable for stability and not necessarily for passion. I believe that most, if not all, of us who write for AAWOL have at some point fallen into a list of stereotypes that are used to describe Asian Americans. Clients also report attempting to talk things out with their parents, going through the benefits of deterring from heritage culture traditions and beliefs, only to be discouraged, dismissed, and disappointed.

During sessions such as these, I share the model of acculturation with clients to validate their frustration and also offer another perspective. For those who are not familiar with this model, there are four different methods of acculturation: integration, assimilation, separation, and marginalization. Integration occurs when one embraces both heritage culture and host culture. Assimilation occurs when one rejects heritage culture, but embraces host culture. Separation occurs when one embraces heritage culture, but rejects host culture. Finally, marginalization occurs when one rejects both heritage and host culture. The clients who I work with most often have either assimilated or integrated, while parents are separated or marginalized. Clients serve as interpreters for their parents at school or appointments, and naturally begin to perform tasks that further reinforce the desire to be individual and independent. There is no acculturation method that would be deemed better or more desired than others; they are different from one another, and need to be acknowledged and honored as such.

I remind clients that how they have been acculturated is a very different experience for them than it had been for their parents. I encourage them to honor and acknowledge the differences in worldviews that they have from their parents. Acknowledgement can go leaps and bounds further than attempting to convince someone to change their opinion can. Particularly in our present political climate, a lot of frustration stems from lack of honor or acknowledgement. God created us in His image, but did not create us all the same. As sisters of Christ, and children of God, let us strive to honor and acknowledge differences among those around us.

Jerrica KF Ching grew up on the island of Oahu, Hawaii and currently lives in the beautiful state of Washington, working as a licensed mental health counselor and Asian/Pacific Islander mental health specialist at Columbia Wellness. She graduated with an MA in Marriage, Couple, and Family Counseling from George Fox University, where she is now an adjunct professor and supervisor. She finds joy in sharing her compassion with students on the importance of recognizing and acknowledging racial and cultural differences in others. Her research on racial colorblindness has been published in The International Journal of Social Science Studies.