Photo by crabchick

By Sharon Lee Song

What is spiritual formation? This term is thrown around in Christian circles, and yet many Christians don’t know what spiritual formation means, and why it is critical to all of us. A good working definition that I have found is from a book called Invitation to a Journey: A Road Map for Spiritual Formation by Robert Mulholland. Mulholland defines spiritual formation as “the process of being formed in the image of Christ for the sake of others.”

This definition raises another question that many Christians ask. Can we as Christians actually become like Jesus? Based on Mulholland’s definition, the answer is a resounding “yes.” However, as a spiritual director, I hear the same messages from the people I work with over and over that they are “trying” to change, to be better, to be different. These messages are rooted in the ways that the world endorses that you can help yourself to be more positive, to change, to be happy.

These messages are also rooted in the ways that the Church prescribes that in order to be more like Jesus and to work out sin, we must do more by reading the Bible, and praying more. People who initially start out enthusiastically and passionately wanting to follow Jesus are inevitably stopped short when they continue to run into their own sin, flaws, and brokenness, and that of others over and over again, and are at a loss for how change and transformation are possible. They ask of the Christian life, “Is this all there is?” They resort to going through the motions of church and faith life, or some decide to leave the church and faith altogether.

In the Western church, I believe that we are being taught things backwards: we are taught to do more instead of taking the pilgrimage, the journey of learning to be. Ideally, this pilgrimage would explore both doing and being, and they would go hand in hand. In doing the deep spiritual inner work of spiritual formation, we learn to embrace our uniqueness and express it in order to help one another, to help the world.

We are not Christian robots or clones where we all do the same things all of the time. We learn to be like Christ by doing this inner transformative work, and therefore, the expression of our God-given uniqueness moves forth in power in the world, as we then explore and learn to do the things that we are gifted in. This may be the first time you hear this, and it may stir up resistance, confusion, or other strong feelings: There is nothing we can do to transform ourselves into persons who love and serve as Jesus did, except to make ourselves available for God/the Holy Spirit to do that work of transforming grace in our lives. I also call this cooperating with the Holy Spirit.

The theme for this month is one of Aristotle’s virtues: good temper. Good temper is defined by other words like equanimity, level-headedness, mental calmness, composure, and self-control. I thought about the list of descriptors for good temper, and what came to mind was the list of words from Galatians 5:22-23. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

The fruit of the Spirit are extremely underrated. The fruit of the Spirit of self-control is one that we desperately need in this world. Without self-control, words are flung around without any thought to how they affect others, without any sense of filter. We are capable of murdering each other with our words; words can be like death without self-control.

Without self-control, we act impulsively, or in spiritual terms, we act out of our “flesh,” and in Galatians, Paul lists that the acts of the flesh are “sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy, drunkenness, orgies, and the like.” Without self-control, brokenness will perpetuate in our lives and in our relationships with damaging consequences.

I personally have experienced the effects of the lack of self-control through abuse in various relationships. I know that I also have lacked self-control with my words and actions by not having good boundaries in relationships. However, as a Christian, I have also seen the power of spiritual formation through the transformation of the Holy Spirit in my life and the lives of those around me.

I believe spiritual formation is the keystone for Christians to live a life walking with the Spirit. Without spiritual formation, we cannot bear the fruit of the Spirit, and without the fruit of the Spirit, we are no different than anyone else in the world. We can’t be formed into the image of Christ if we do not make ourselves available to the work of the Spirit, if we do not learn to cooperate with the Holy Spirit.

We make ourselves available to the Holy Spirit’s transformation through spiritual formation, by engaging in the spiritual disciplines. Simply put, the purpose of all spiritual disciplines is to be with God. This does include reading Scripture, and praying — however, there is a whole category of spiritual disciplines in the contemplative stream of Christian spirituality that focuses on the inner work with God by being with Him, and being and exploring ourselves. There are, in fact, more ways of being in Scripture and prayer than we realize, or what we’ve been traditionally been taught in Church. God has provided ways for us to be free from the things of the flesh by walking in the way of the Spirit. It is possible for us to embody good temper and self-control as we learn to cooperate with the Spirit.

Spiritual formation does entail a fairly big shift in our spirituality as we engage in it. And it does require guidance, especially initially, since being with God through contemplation and other spiritual disciplines can involve unlearning some deeply ingrained ways of being and doing. Are you longing for more with God? Have you felt stuck in your spiritual life? Have you reached a point in your faith where you are asking, is this all there is?

Before I go into recommendations on how to engage in spiritual formation intentionally, I want to make a distinction. I have heard pastors or other Christian leaders say that spiritual formation is basically discipleship. I disagree. Discipleship is the process of guiding people in following Jesus and becoming his disciples; people are committed to following Jesus with their whole lives. This process can include a number of different methodologies like group Bible study, receiving counsel, mentoring, serving in a variety of capacities at church.

In contrast, spiritual formation is about the inner work of our hearts, souls and spirits, and it does often include other people (like a spiritual director), but ultimately, it comes down to and is all about the relationship between us and God through a variety of spiritual disciplines. We can be taught these spiritual disciplines by someone who is discipling us, but the two processes are distinct.

There are many spiritual formation resources available. I’ve already mentioned one good place to start, and that is the book by Mulholland called Invitation to a Journey. Another book that is an excellent place to explore spiritual disciplines is The Spiritual Disciplines Handbook by Adele Calhoun. This book contains a plethora of ways to be with God. Lastly, finding a spiritual director to be a spiritual companion in your journey is a powerful way to grow in the discernment, in learning and seeing the ways that God is always moving in our lives and connecting more deeply to God and that movement.

Spiritual direction and spiritual formation are the reasons why I am still a Christian today because I found that there is always more to God, and we can always go deeper with Him. I am a very different person today than I was 17 years ago when I became a Christian, thanks be to God. Through spiritual formation, I can say that I embody good temper and self-control far more than I did before, and it was because I learned to cooperate and walk in the Spirit.

Sharon Lee Song lives and works in South Los Angeles for Servant Partners, an urban missions organization. Inspired by her own transformation through self-care, soul care, and spiritual formation, Sharon became a Holy Yoga instructor, and spiritual director. She’s committed to using what she’s learned from her training to support others in living healthy, sustainable, urban spiritual lives.