Photo by Rosmarie Voegtli

By Ajung Sojwal

Having been born and raised in a deeply communal culture, self-assertion was not one of the qualities we were encouraged to cultivate. Consensus building and collaborative leadership was much more the ideals espoused. So, when I started my journey toward ordination to the priesthood in this deeply individualistic culture, it became a problem.

One of the first issues for the discernment committee charged with helping me discern my call to the ordained ministry was that I was not assertive enough. I knew exactly what kind of self-assertion was sought after in leaders even in the church, and I did not like it nor believed in it as the leadership model I wanted to embrace.

After long explanations from the discernment committee about the need for self-assertion from a leader, I decided it looked more like a “father knows best” sort of a situation and less like the transformative life that Jesus calls us to, starting with leaders in the Church. I decided to practice self-assertion in a different way and stuck to my belief that a call to the priesthood is about encouraging and facilitating the faithful (including me) to grow in our relationship with God and live out our common life of witness to the Resurrection of Christ. Needless to say, it took me far longer than the average person to get ordained.

I still believe that my primary call as a priest is to collaborate with the Holy Spirit to facilitate the nurture and growth of the “Beloved Community” to which I belong. My view that the kind of self-assertion called for by Jesus from his disciples is not quite the same as what most churches expect from its leaders still puts me at odds with many people, especially search committees! But, I am even more at peace today, with the notion that a demonstration of self-confidence and strong leadership doesn’t have to be validated by being in the spotlight all the time.

I am afraid that most of our ideals of good and strong leadership are rooted in military concepts, where it is necessary for a select few, if not one person, to take command of a campaign toward conquering the enemy. Why should I embrace such defensive models of leadership in the Kingdom where we are called to love our enemies? I would like to think of myself and Christian leadership more like the yeast in Jesus’ parable where he says, “To what should I compare the kingdom of God? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with three measures of flour until all of it was leavened.” (Lk. 13:20-21).

Christian leadership is meant to be like the yeast that leavens the bread. Only God, which in this case is likened to a woman, brings about everything that’s needed to bake a loaf of bread. From where I stand, it looks like self-assertion for Christian leaders is best captured in what the yeast does. It is something that God chooses to mingle into our common faith life, to leave it hidden till the end when the undeniable power of the yeast is seen as the whole dough rises.

Ajung Sojwal is Rector of St. George’s Episcopal Church in Hempstead, NY.