Photo by Jason Jacobs

Madame Secretary (the TV show) – A hacker got hold of some sensitive pictures of Stevie (Madame Secretary’s daughter) and her boyfriend (who happened to be the President’s son). Good ending – The hacker got caught, the White House did damage control, Madame Secretary and the family were sympathetic towards Stevie. The last scene – Stevie met the hacker, told him that she wanted to spend a few minutes getting to know him, because she did not want to hate him for the thing that he did, but to try to forgive him for the person he was.

2013 summer – I was in a discussion about women preachers not being welcomed to preach or teach in some churches. The speaker told us that we, women, had to stand up and speak up for ourselves. I left the meeting a bit disoriented, and I called a sister to chat about it. She said to me that there are different ways to fight a fight and she encouraged me to seek the way God wanted me to fight. Fast forward a few years – I was in such a “fight” situation. I stood and spoke, in the way that I felt God wanted me to, in a gentle and quiet spirit I shared with them the passion that God has given me in preaching and teaching, and the hurt that I experienced when I was denied such opportunities because of my gender. They shared with me their side of the story, of their church tradition in particular. The last scene – They didn’t change their mind allowing women to preach, but we got to know each other more.

Hong Kong, 2019 October – I was in Hong Kong for 2 weeks, staying half a block from a major protesting site during the social unrest. I heard people shouting and teargas firing during the night, and saw the destruction on the streets – shop windows broken and boarded up, bricks dug up from streets, graffitis everywhere. As I met up with friends in HK, the conversation would naturally be on what was happening around the city. I asked them to share with me their personal experience, how the social, political issue and the protest had affected them personally. The last scene – nobody changed their position towards the social unrest, but I got to understand the issue from different sides better, and I also got to know my friends better.

Seattle, 2020 April – I joined a small group study with people from different ethnic backgrounds, going through the book, “Beyond Color Blind.” In one of our meetings, someone commented that our small group was not tasked to fix the racial problem in our society, but we could journey and wrestle together, and the best way to do so was to share with each other our own experiences of ethnic conflicts. The last scene – We did not have any action plans on fighting racism, but we plan to keep in touch and continue sharing experiences with each other.

As I reflect on the topic for this month – “Violence” – I asked myself: How do we conquer violence? There are different answers for different people, but for me, the snippets above came to mind. At this time, with all the violence happening in the US and around the world, I have not joined any protests, I have not posted on social media or commented on posts around the issues. I have only been listening to others’ stories, learning from their experiences. To some, I may be too passive, or even inactive (not making a stand, not speaking up), but at this time, I feel that this is the way for me to conquer violence, to listen and to learn.

For others, they may have some other ways.
For tomorrow, I may have another way.
But for me, for today, this is the way – listening and learning.

Wendy Choy-Chan came to North America from Hong Kong when she was 15. After graduating with a MScE, she worked as a telecommunications engineer for a few years before becoming a full-time mom. She earned her MA in Theology at Fuller Theological Seminary in 2016, and is now serving with Becoming What God Intended Ministries. Despite living in the coffee capital (Seattle), Wendy enjoys scouting out tea shops with her husband and two daughters.