By Joy Wong

The other day, as I was surfing channels, I landed upon a far-right television show. The person speaking was speaking angrily about how “they say, ‘just shut up and move on.’ ‘Shut up and move on’ they say. Well I didn’t see them ‘shut up and move on’ about the 2016 election!”

I quickly moved onto another channel, but hearing just that tiny segment really grieved me. Some people who were happy with Biden’s win, frustrated with the Republican claims of election fraud, probably did say “Shut up and move on” and perhaps, worse things than that. But then also to hear this television host repeat those same ugly and offensive words in order to incite an angry response from his followers also made me alarmed and sad.

It’s been said that this is the most divisive the United States has ever been, perhaps since the Civil War. It seems that there are those who relish in the division and conflict, “waging war” on the other side. For me, I long for peace, healing, and unity in our nation.

However, it seems that healing is still many steps away. In chaplaincy training, whenever our group had conflict, our supervisor facilitated an in-person meeting where all parties involved participated (including those in the group who were witnesses to the conflict) and where ground rules were set. Some of the rules included no name-calling, listening without speaking or interrupting, acknowledging and naming the feelings of all those in the room, letting bystanders speak, etc. The conflicts weren’t necessarily resolved at the end of the meetings, but there were usually significant steps taken towards clarity and understanding oneself and others better.

Key to these meetings was not only the expert facilitation of our supervisor and adherence to the ground rules, but also the fact that it was in-person. It wasn’t just opinions stated and viewpoints acknowledged. It was emotions read around the room, and named. You weren’t just putting words to paper, or speaking to a faceless audience. You were face-to-face with other human beings.

Being face-to-face makes it harder to shout insults. It’s harder to hide your emotions also. You realize that as angry as you are, you’re not addressing a demon; you’re addressing another human being, just like yourself — a person with fears and hopes, joys and sorrows; a person who has flaws, just as you do; a person who is most likely a beloved child, sibling, or parent — and most importantly, a beloved child of God.

How can we get there as a nation? As it stands now, it seems that media is not the way. Not only is it one-way communication with no way to listen to the other, but also it is a dehumanizing medium. Or can it be reinvented to become a space for mediation, healing, listening to the other with respect, and humanization? On a more personal level, how can I become a space and person who promotes healing and understanding, rather than joining forces on one side or the other?

In many ways, it’s easier not to engage. It’s easier to demonize the other, throw insults at the faceless other side, and condemn them as “(insert label here).” But as followers of Jesus and as a nation, I hope we begin taking on a different stance and attitude, and strive to find a different way. With social distancing, this may be even more difficult than before. But drawing on all our creativity, let’s find a way. And in doing so, may Christ be glorified, as he prayed:

 “I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” –John 17:22-23 NIV

Joy Wong has an MDiv from Fuller Theological Seminary, a BA in English from Princeton University, as well as four years’ experience in industrial distribution management.  She is a contributing author to Mirrored Reflections: Reframing Biblical Characters, published in September 2010.