By Melanie Mar Chow

Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today, and forever.  Hebrews 13:7-8 (NIV)

Our church began hosting memorial services for the people who have passed away during the pandemic.  This year, I have lost a few great mentors, who were also role models to many others.  I was saddened that we were unable to send them off and celebrate the life they lived well.

A role model by definition is a person who others look to as an example to follow. They can offer inspiration by leading others to imitate their behavior, good or bad.  The manner of how they live influences behaviors, characteristics, lifestyles, and personalities.  Good role models are examples of selflessness, sacrifice, confidence and generosity.  They are trusted to evaluate challenging situations and provide appropriate resources and assistance as needed — even wise counsel and encouragement to lighten the spirits. We need to find these people and get to know them during this pandemic.

As I sat in a recent memorial service with the brave who ventured out to celebrate a life gone too soon, I realized what I missed. Today, people avoid going to funeral services, cemeteries or memorial parks.  For me, I love my community!  I go to these places to honor their families.  I want their lives remembered. Attending reminded me how I missed hearing the stories from people who were inspired and influenced by their loved ones to keep living life fully. Most inspiring was how their loved ones recalled their dealings with adversity and how they excelled despite their circumstances in life because of Jesus.  

I appreciate modern memorials as we now have visuals (videos, photologs, recordings, etc.) that craft a story of who these people were and how they lived their lives.  In learning about them, I gain the confidence — even from memories about them — in how to live better. Granted that for many of those who passed, it was evident in their stories that they knew Jesus. They learned how to live life from the best role model anyone could have. We see Jesus in how they lived and can imitate their faith, though we cannot see Jesus himself. These memories of their lives, especially the stories shared on the internet, will live forever.  

I had a friend who passed away this year after a long cancer journey.  Though the family is still trying to regroup and hopes to host a memorial, I was able to find a blog where the friend who passed away left a lot of wisdom.  Even though she is gone from earth, her wisdom is still accessible for others to bring comfort and empowerment from the truths she shared in her writings.

I learned too late to appreciate what contributions my late mom provided as a role model.  She was the mother of seven children, five living and two lost in childbirth. She was a model of hospitality, serving countless meals and snacks to friends dropping by, as well as donating hand-sewn goods to school festivals and fundraisers.  She was a schoolteacher before she raised her family.  Once her family could care for themselves, she went back to school to become a school librarian until she retired.  The end of each year serves as a reminder to give to her memorial fund that enables books to be available to children who cannot go to a library or purchase books, in person or online.  Her model to promote literacy continues to be an example.

I close with the reminder that though we had to say goodbye too soon to some role models, we are better people because of them. I hope that the stories of these people will not be lost in libraries or forgotten under the plaques in cemeteries.  These stories should be shared and celebrated as the memories unearth their examples and inspire generations to follow.  A personal gain during this pandemic was finding cemeteries nearby that offer beautiful views of the cities around them.  These places provide space to walk in solitude to reflect upon the memorials.

How will you be that role model for generations to follow?  Will others share stories both humorous and informative about you?  Continue to learn from others, from both the living and from those who have passed.

Rev. Melanie Mar Chow serves God through Asian American Christian Fellowship, the campus ministry division of the Japanese Evangelical Missionary Society (JEMS). She has been an ordained American Baptist minister since 2004. A Pacific Northwest native, she currently lives with her husband and daughter in Southern California.