By Melanie Mar Chow

“togetherness: the pleasant feeling of being united with other people in friendship and understanding” (Cambridge Dictionary)

Recently, I awoke from an afternoon nap to the sound of a drumline. I live two blocks away from the local high school. I played flute during my secondary education and learned the role of the drumline is to set the tempo. Hearing the drums as a band member signaled the leader’s whistle to signal the start of making beautiful music together. Each band member understood the importance of their notes coming together to become a symphony. 

I wonder if band experiences need to be emphasized more and not taken away from our school curriculums. Being part of a band is paramount to working against the American mindset of individualism. 

Adam Levine of the pop band Maroon 5 started a controversy regarding bands. “I feel like they’re a dying breed,” he said in an interview. Levine quickly clarified that he meant pop bands, but his remarks were not taken lightly, even drawing outrage from other musicians. 

Paul Smith, who has four solo albums and seven with Maximo Park, responded to this comment. “I can get things done a lot quicker as a solo artist,” he says. “I can choose the artwork, decide the track listing: little things that take us weeks because we have an egalitarian mindset. I love the communal aspects of being in a band. You’re sharing everything: sharing the profits but also sharing the load. If you’re a big solo star and you’re not enjoying it, it must be one of the loneliest places you can be.”

I appreciated my parents encouraging participation in team or group activities over individual ones. Even though the family included five siblings, we still were encouraged to participate in extracurricular activities like music, sports, and service projects. I appreciated my parents working with us to take lessons, emphasizing our strengths and weaknesses. Quitting was not an option if things got hard. After a year of lessons came the invitation to join the orchestra or the band. Similarly, athletes who improve in their sport are encouraged to join a team. My sister and I played doubles for team tennis. It was important how our individual wins supported the other team members. We learned how to work and enjoy our individual wins and even embrace team losses.

Almost forty years later, I replicated this experience when my daughter played high school basketball. She grew close to her teammates. Her coach guided the team to know which athletes had a grasp of their personal abilities as the team came together. The coach employed their strengths to be a championship team. This experience helped her mourn personal losses, but also be quick to celebrate the wins of her teammates and ultimately, team successes. This companionship inspired a winning combination of teamwork, friendship, and individual ability to form a community that could also mourn failures and losses.  

As an Asian American, I think of Levine’s comment and realize the music industry’s oversite of K-pop. BTS, currently on sabbatical, rose to become the biggest pop band. The seven members each brought their uniqueness (activism, rapping, dancing, and singing, to name a few). BTS gave their fans something to embrace and literally formed an “army” of followers, who call themselves “ARMY” as they appreciate the influences of the unique group chemistry. Fans can find something in each group member to connect with. 

This is not only true for sports or music. The same importance of togetherness was a part of my years in college participating in campus ministry. Most likely the result of constantly hanging out and sharing deep thoughts of struggles of life with a big God caused togetherness. Togetherness is a treasure that embodies biblical hospitality and lifestyle. The purpose of togetherness is to create an environment, a community in some ways, that makes others want to belong.

I value and recognize the hunger to connect by youth today. Loneliness is one of the greatest challenges for youth and young adults. Navigating conflict and differences are important obstacles to overcome. When young adults understand and practice being a better community, they can influence others to better themselves. The invitation to participate in community life has formed much of my life and career. I hold close to that notion of being together for a purpose. With God’s call, I wholeheartedly come alongside and encourage college students to grasp a little of who they are becoming and what team they will be a part of in the future. I am excitedly looking forward to the discoveries my students will unearth this year as they serve God on their campuses. 

Rev. Melanie Mar Chow serves God through Asian American Christian Fellowship, the campus ministry division of the Japanese Evangelical Missionary Society (JEMS). She has been an ordained American Baptist minister since 2004. A Pacific Northwest native, she currently lives with her husband and daughter in Southern California.