By Jerrica KF Ching

If I think of the word togetherness, the word that quickly follows would most likely be family.  Then if I think about all the times my family spends together, from childhood until present day as an adult in her early thirties, the clearest memories of togetherness are for Christmas.  Christmas was the one holiday where my parents would invite family from both sides of the family over to our home for a big Christmas dinner.

Growing up in Hawaii, there is never a concern about inclement weather delaying flights or car rides, since my entire family was on the same island.  My mom would say grace for the food while my cousins took turns lighting the advent candles.  My dad would prepare a giant ham for dinner for all of us, and my siblings and I oversaw some type of Christmas game; either we’d have a game where you had to unwrap a present while wearing oven mitts, or a Christmas edition of Family Feud.  This Christmas dinner tradition was always in existence, and even though there were some years where one or two family members couldn’t make it, it was always something that we knew would happen in our home.

Of course, as with most families, COVID-19 changed the way Christmas would look and how we could celebrate togetherness.  Initially the idea of not having a Christmas party felt very strange, however even though some restrictions were lifted this past year in 2021, my parents opted to not have the Christmas party, as it would’ve felt stranger to hold it instead.  Even if we followed all state guidelines for limiting the number of people over at our house, would that be considered responsible?  Would it be safe?  What if someone became sick after the party then how would we feel?

I think the sheer amount of questions regarding health and safety outweighed the desire to be together “like normal” – whatever normal now meant.  What I think my family quickly learned in 2022 however, was that togetherness didn’t have to center around Christmas time.  As we are now in September – three-quarters of the way through another year – I realized how fortunate and blessed my family and I are that we were able to make the most of technology, our airline miles, and time off with one another.

We learned that it doesn’t have to be Christmas to feel that sense of togetherness.  We don’t need a huge party of twenty family members to feel as though we are having family time.  Instead, it can be the five of us — my parents, my brother, my sister, and myself — being very intentional about a family dinner when I’m visiting during an off-season month to Hawaii and playing card games.  Or it can be a zoom call with everyone to catch up on what we’re all doing.  Whether in person, or apart from one another, I think the biggest contribution of togetherness is the intention to have it.  To come together as family or as community, to create memories, relive pastimes, or to simply be with one another.

It was incredibly easy to feel as though something was amiss when plans needed to shift due to a global pandemic.  I think many of us may have even felt “wrong” that we weren’t spending time with people in the same manner that we are used to be it through ministry, fellowship, or stewardship.  Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them” – a refreshing reminder that regardless if we are with families, friends, or community, and regardless if it is big or small, God is there in togetherness with us.

Jerrica KF Ching grew up on the island of Oahu, Hawaii and currently lives in the beautiful state of Washington, working as a licensed mental health counselor and Asian/Pacific Islander mental health specialist, working with children, teens, and adults within the AAPI community. She graduated with an MA in Marriage, Couple, and Family Counseling from George Fox University, where she is now an adjunct professor and supervisor. Her research on racial colorblindness has been published in The International Journal of Social Science Studies.