by Angela Ryo

A study done at Emory University in 2010 concluded that children who knew about their family history had higher self-esteem and were better able to deal with stress. When children knew their families, they had a strong sense of identity. Another study done at Emory University found that children who have a strong family narrative enjoy better emotional health. It’s hard to feel alone when you know that you are part of something bigger. When children know what challenges their families have faced and overcome, they are more confident to face their own challenges. They are better adjusted and more resilient.

After hearing about this study, I decided to try it out on my own children. They were in 3^rd and 4^th grade at the time. One day we were driving somewhere (or rather, I was driving THEM somewhere because that’s what you do when your kids are young—you’re always driving them around!) and I started to talk about my paternal grandfather (their great-grandfather) who died before I was born. But I had stories that were told to me about him when I was little. So I told them one of those stories.

I told them how when the Korean War broke out in 1950, many of the villagers along with my grandpa, who was the mayor of the town, were rounded up by the enemy soldiers and locked up in a tiny room. They knew they had to find a way out or they’d all be dead in the morning. A group of them removed a toilet, which provided just enough space for them to crawl through one at a time. Everyone wanted to be the first to go out, but not my grandfather. He lined up everyone so they could go out one by one, and he’d go last. Well, they wouldn’t have it. They insisted that he be the first one out because they respected him so much. And so he was the first one to get out through the toilet hole. My kids’ response to that story was a complete surprise. They said, “Why didn’t you tell us this story before? We didn’t know our great-grandfather was such a hero! Wait till we tell everyone at school!” Maybe it was the toilet that made the story more enticing to my children, but man, they were proud!

What are the stories you treasure about your family? About your church? About your life? How are you passing them down to the next generation? How are you shaping your identity as well as the identities of those who are coming after you through the stories you pass down? In my current position as the transitional pastor, I sometimes feel like my job is to bring about changes — as hard as that may be. But I think what’s important as a leader of any organization is to discern what’s good about the culture and history of the organization and to preserve it as much as possible.

I’m in the middle of reading The Practice of Adaptive Leadership, and the authors make it a point to say the following: “Successful adaptive changes build on the past rather than jettison it. A challenge for adaptive leadership…is to engage people in distinguishing what is essential to preserve from their organization’s heritage from what is expendable. Successful adaptations are thus both conservative and progressive. They make the best possible use of previous wisdom and know-how. The most effective leadership anchors change in the values, competencies, and strategic orientations that should endure in the organization” (Heifetz, R., Linsky, M. & Grashow, A.).

And when we do so, we’ll be building a more confident and resilient individual, church, and organization.

Angela Ryo currently serves as the Transitional Pastor at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Munster, IN. She enjoys taking long walks, reading, listening to NPR, and drinking good coffee with friends and strangers alike.