By Margaret Yu

Here is the promise of the Gospel and the message of the whole Bible: In Jesus Christ, we are given a Friend who will always enjoy rather than refuse our presence. –Dane Ortlund (Gentle & Lowly, 2020, p. 115)

One of the most enduring memories I have from my adolescent years is sitting at what I called the “awkward teenager/children’s banquet table.” Growing up, I attended nine-course Chinese banquet celebrations, and while I loved the food, I dreaded being assigned to the designated tables for non-adults. There were really only two table categories: adults and everyone else. As a child or teenager, I always found myself at the “everyone else” table. The food was the same, but somehow, it always felt like a second-class experience.

As a child, sitting at that table didn’t bother me. It felt fun and carefree. But as I got older, I began to long for a place at the adult table, where I imagined there were more mature conversations and benefits. For some reason, that table became a symbol of the deeper desires of my soul. It felt as though those at the adult table were given more honor. Sadly, I knew I wasn’t old enough to be invited to join them, and therefore, I wasn’t granted that honor.

During my college years, that longing for the adult table was transformed when I realized that I already had what I had been seeking in my friendship with Jesus. In those pivotal years, a mentor, Andrea, modeled what it meant to be a Christian, showing me how to have a close and vibrant friendship with Christ. She taught me that Jesus isn’t meant to be confined to physical church walls but that He desires to be a part of every area of our lives and hearts. Through her example, I learned how to make Jesus my best friend and how to cultivate a relationship with God. She showed me what John 15:12-17 meant for God’s friends.

Upon reading this, we find that Jesus invites us to His table as His friends. The method of His invitation was made possible by His sacrificial death for us. This love is not based on what we do as servants of our Master-Creator or King. It is based on His choice to call us friends. We are known as God’s friends, as Jesus’ friends.

As an Asian American, the concept of God being our friend might be harder to grasp. Growing up with a strong sense of filial piety and respect for authority, I was taught to honor those older than me and in positions of authority. This philosophy has its communal benefits, but it has also created a sense of separation between those who are in authority and those who are not. This can sometimes lead to a “have and have-not” dynamic in relationships.

But Jesus breaks that cycle, reassuring us that He chose to invite us into a close friendship with Him. He chose us to be in an intimate relationship, showing us that we are good enough for Him — that we are old enough, and that separation has been removed. He has torn the veil that once separated us from Him. I still can’t fully comprehend the magnitude of His love for us. Truly, we are the reason He endured that horrific death. Through His sacrifice, He brought us closer to God the Father (II Cor 5:18).

Beyond offering us closeness with God, Jesus elevates us to an honorable friendship that is not based on duty. Filial piety taught me to always be a dutiful daughter, obeying the commands of those in authority. Jesus, however, invites me to a relationship with Him that goes beyond duty. Yes, He is our King to be served, but He is also a friend to be with. Sometimes, my sense of duty as a daughter clouds the intimacy God desires with me. God tells me that I am more than what I do; He doesn’t just want my obedience —He wants my heart.

What an honor it is that God does not merely desire our sacrifices, but our hearts. He is the Friend who always wants to know how we are truly doing. He cares about our hopes, desires, dreams, failures, disappointments, and pains. And we can trust Him with our hearts. After all, He is the Friend who is closer than a brother (Prov 18:24). He will never leave us or forsake us. He will never cast us out (John 6:37). Even on days when I feel unworthy because of my sin, Jesus assures me that He is the friend of sinners, of which I am one (Matt 11:19). I have learned that I can tell God anything, and He will never be surprised by it. He truly cares about everything that concerns me.

The most remarkable part is that Jesus also wants to be known by us, just as we want to be known by our friends. God, in His friendship, longs for us to understand His heart. And we have the privilege of doing this in our eternal friendship with Him. That is why I love the Bible through which I know his heart. 

Finally, in my search for honor and respect at those banquet tables, Jesus has answered my longing. In Jesus, we are not only invited into a loving and close friendship with Him, but He also calls us to bear fruit with Him and for Him. He didn’t just choose us to be with Him (Mark 3:14); He chose us to do His work on earth. He has given us the honor of being on mission with Him. He invites us to participate in the highest honor of bringing good to this broken world. In addition to enjoying an intimate friendship with God, we have been given a real purpose in life — to co-create with Him, producing fruit that loves and serves this world. We get to be about our Father’s business. And this is all rooted in knowing His love for us. It all comes from knowing Him, being known and loved by Him, as we seek to know and love Jesus. And it culminates in the honor of being His daughters, involved in our Father’s business.

I am so glad that you and I are invited to sit at the Big Table with Jesus.

Since 2023, Margaret Yu has served as the primary caregiver for her 2 elderly parents. She is learning to ascribe dignity and respect to her parents even as they are bed-ridden. Prior to this, she served in campus ministry for over 30 years. Her last role was the National Director of Epic Movement, the Asian American ministry of Cru. However Margaret believes that the most challenging role of her life is being a loving caregiver for her parents. You can contact her via Facebook or Instagram @Epicmyu  She would love to hear from you.