By Tina Teng-Henson

I remember venting frustrations about serving one particular group of leaders several years ago to an older friend. He was a wise doctor and an excellent listener who knew that group of leaders well. In response he prayed for me, and this was the phrase that stuck out to me when he did: “Lord, give Tina more of Your presence.”

More of Your presence. Your Presence. 

Presence. 

Somehow this reminded me that after all is said and done amidst church ministry, this is what we hope emerges. This is what we hope remains for ourselves and those we serve. 

A felt experience of God. His intangible yet real immanence (sense of closeness). Spiritual accompaniment. That constant companion who we perceive to be in attendance and involved.One who intimately knows better than all other beings, the ins and outs, the ups and downs, of your unique and individual life. 

Truth be told, this is and can be a very subjective thing to hope for. Some people simply don’t feel able to perceive or experience the presence of God, despite deeply searching and asking for it. I remember how in years past, people asked to be filled with the Holy Spirit and waited, wondering if anything would happen. 

My sense is that it is a gift from the divine to even be wired in such a way to feel something as non-material as what I’m describing. How do we describe God’s presence to others who may not have grown up with these categories? My college roommate, a scientist and doctor by training, seemed to be someone whose life simply didn’t operate with these understandings. I don’t know if this is someone who would ever want to receive the Holy Spirit, or the presence of God. (As I write this, I know there is a fine distinction between these two, but venturing to explain it may need to be a separate essay)

During seasons of deconstruction or a dark night of the soul, Christ’s felt presence may be absent or removed, for reasons unknown. Yet, if someone is fully given over to Christ, the Holy Spirit has taken up residence within them. However, the limitations of human perception and other challenges that arise may prevent an ongoing capacity to experience God’s presence. Mother Teresa’s life shows us that one could serve Christ with great effectiveness, yet experience great distance in one’s connection with the Lord. These dynamics could certainly be a great source of disappointment and sadness with God. Hopefully over time, this could change, and a person become able once again to experience a sense of Christ’s presence.  

When I find myself wanting to access God’s presence, I take a deep breath, and place my hand over my heart. I quiet myself, and consciously relax my body. 

I might pull out Psalm 139, which for years has spoken to me about God being inescapable. I could also read Jesus’ parting words as he commissions his disciples and promises, “I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). When I’m with my hospice patients, they often request Psalm 23, which in verse 4 reassures them that his presence provides comfort in dark valleys.  

Sometimes I turn on music that turns my heart to adoration and wonder, that lifts my spirit and reminds me of God’s transcendent beauty and majesty. Other times I turn to songs of lament that help me encounter the presence of the Lord in the midst of hardship. 

The important thing is that whatever I’m going through, I realize I can consciously try to calm and quiet myself. That so doing can help me feel the peaceful loving presence of God. In these moments of self-soothing, I realize I am like a weaned child with its mother, as it says in Psalm 131. Whether I can remember that particular feeling or not with my own mother, 42 years ago, I remember what it felt like to finish weaning my last child just 7 years ago. I remember feeling that palpable sense of relief and satisfaction we both felt as we did so. 

God’s presence is a lot like that of a very good parent who is loving, present and kind, gentle and humble in heart. Being able to create a moment in which I experience those feelings helps me connect to the Lord. As I write this, I think of my grandmother’s favorite Bible verse: “In your presence, there is fullness of joy…at your right hand, there are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11). 

To you, dear reader, who may or may not be feeling fullness of joy for whatever reason, I am pausing to pray for you. Would you know Christ’s presence. Would I know his presence. And would this be for you and I both, a source of life, joy and pleasure forevermore. God bless you and keep you, now and always. 

Tina Teng-Henson serves as a spiritual director and hospice chaplain. As a wife and mother of three, she occasionally guest-preaches and teaches. When she’s not volunteering at her children’s schools, she plays volleyball, reads, and writes.

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By Melanie Mar Chow

The hustle and bustle of Thanksgiving is over.  Feasting with family, friends, and others created spaces to align and posture ourselves to be truly thankful. As we turn our calendars to December, we find ourselves with another ritual in Advent to make space for God.

I am grateful for these rituals and traditions that allow us to practice and anticipate the presence of God. I offer Advent calendars to close family and friends. — whatever it takes to practice and make space for engaging the presence of God more in our lives through small daily gifts. My daughter, as . a child, struggled to wait each day to open the numbered door and then collect the gift. But as an adult, there are moments when the fullness of the day makes her miss opening the gift. Regardless, the Advent calendar still serves as a reminder for us to collect anew gifts God has given us each day, and to be people who foster a greater awareness of His presence with us.

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By Ajung Sojwal

Sunday after Sunday, the most visible marker of me as the priest at the worship service is my prerogative to preside at the Lord’s Table. It is a constant reminder to me that I, for a moment, get the rare privilege of holding the attention of God’s children on the sacrificial love of Jesus manifested in the breaking of bread and the sharing of wine from the common cup.

A few years ago, I realized just how vital and sacred a ritual it is for my parishioners when one of them came to me and said, “I need to hear you say the words of administration for Holy Communion a little louder. It’s what holds me together during the week.” The words she waits to hear as she kneels at the altar rail are, “Body of Christ, the bread of heaven broken for you,” and, “Blood of Christ, the cup of salvation poured out for you.”

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By Angela Ryo

Some years ago, at a retreat with my Korean American Presbyterian clergywomen, we were sitting around chatting about ministry when someone asked, “Where do you see the Spirit of God at work today?” It was the kind of question that made all of us pause to reflect on the Spirit’s work in our lives and ministries. 

One pastor, who had founded a domestic violence shelter, spoke up. She said she saw the Spirit of God in the stories the women could finally tell about themselves once they had been there long enough to feel safe. For so long, she explained, these women weren’t allowed to speak their own truth; their spouses had told them who they were, and over time, the lies became their prison. But when they found the courage to tell their own stories, something began to shift. They rediscovered their voices and remembered who they truly were. In that remembering, they were empowered to break the cycle of abuse.

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By Julia Qiuye Zhao

“And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth.”  —John 1:14

I admit that I struggled with this topic. When I think about God’s presence, I usually think about the Holy Spirit. Of course, I believe that Jesus is always present with us, but I don’t usually think of Jesus as “presence.” That particular phrase seems ambiguous, even a bit “airy fairy,” not quite what I associate with the solid, strong, physical presence of Jesus Christ, who came in flesh among us. 

However, since it is almost Advent, my mind has been on the Incarnation, the coming of Jesus in flesh among us. As I reflect on the incarnation, I think this is the key to resolving the conflict I sensed between the strong, human presence of Jesus and the seemingly “airy-fairy” way of thinking of Jesus as presence.  

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By Emi Iwanaga

“You’re all I want in heaven! You’re all I want on earth! 
…I’m in the very presence of God— 
oh, how refreshing it is!”
Psalms‬ ‭73‬:‭25‬,‭28‬ ‭MSG‬‬

JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF HIM

Last month my daughter who is an animal lover got married outdoors, lakeside in the High Sierra mountains.   The fish sending boils across the lake and the squirrel taking a bite of the cake even before she had a chance to give her husband his mouthful made for an appropriate memory. 

She is also a creature of habit.  Growing up she was known to wear a USC baseball cap, mismatched color socks, and basketball shorts every time, everywhere.  Her USC cap had gotten so worn she was gifted a new one…which she put aside to continue wearing her old one. 

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By Eunhyey Lok

A few months ago, I participated in an online challenge sponsored by Sungshim and John Loppnow through their Presence and Practice ministry. During the coaching, I was struck — almost shocked — when Sungshim urged us to “not separate God from our bodies” (paraphrase). She guided us in how to accompany what we sense in our body, then invite God to care for us. It felt radical and simultaneously so obvious.

Since that moment, I have paid more attention to how situations feel in my body. I became aware that I often “shush” my body in order to get things done; or, rush my body onto the next chore. The moments when I did turn and had compassion on what I was feeling tended to be the harder times. My need for peace and comfort drove me to seek solace from this practice.

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By Yuri Yamamoto

When I began my Clinical Pastoral Education to become a chaplain, I was still exploring my Christian identity in baby steps. When some hospital patients asked me about my religion, I didn’t feel comfortable claiming myself as a Christian lest someone might call me out on being an imposter. Friends have warned me about Christians who would quickly condemn people to hell when they disagreed on theology or “lifestyle” such as the LGBTQIA+ community, and I didn’t want any confrontations with them.

Instead of calling myself a Christian, I often said, “I’m a follower of Jesus.” Most people probably interpreted my statement as being a Christian. For me, there was a difference between the two. Jesus taught how to realize God’s will on earth through loving God and each other, and I wanted to follow him on this ministry.

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By Sarah D. Park

One of the key Christian tenets that I learned while growing up was that the goal was to become like Jesus. 

Deny yourself and follow Christ. Deny what makes you you; your desires are suspect, they may even come from the devil; ask not what do you want but what does God want for you? Yet not my will but yours be done. 

It’s a strange notion to introduce to a young girl. Furthermore, I liked who I was – something not many little girls could say for themselves. How was I supposed to become like a 33-year-old man who lived thousands of years ago and lived a life that didn’t look anything like mine?

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By Diana Kim

But Ruth said, “Do not press me to leave you, to turn back from following you! 
Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; 
your people shall be my people and your God my God.
-Ruth 1:16

I imagine that the journey from Moab back to Judah was quite different for Ruth than it was for Naomi. Both were vulnerable, grieving the loss of family and life as they knew it. Naomi was returning to her homeland after ten years, though she was without husband, children, financial stability, or physical protection. Ruth was going to a land quite foreign to her, a place she had never been as a stranger, the “other.”

In hindsight, I admire Naomi’s relationship with God. She knows that God is Almighty, so mighty that he can even take on her complaints and her bitterness. Having been so immersed in the faith, it would have been natural for Naomi to turn to God in all matters of life. But oh, to think of just how resentful she must have been towards God during that journey back to Judah!

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