By Tina Teng-Henson

To be honest, I sometimes find it difficult to speak my mind, truthfully, honestly, living where I do in northern California. When we moved here about 10 years ago, I wondered, are people just more superficially “nice” or more concerned with being politically correct – that they seem never to disagree with me? Or I hypothesized to myself that the region seemed to be so shaped by a counseling-informed culture of active listening that people I interacted with seemed to only reflect back what they first heard me say. Everyone basically agreed with me, everywhere I went. 

This was strange, coming from Cambridge, Massachusetts, where I had gone to Harvard College and stayed on for several more years on staff with InterVarsity. Opinions, perspectives, viewpoints varied – widely, constantly – and it was perfectly fine to have one’s own opinion. In fact, to disagree with others was so normative, it was expected! To think critically was how we all operated. It was how we came up with the best solutions to the common problems we all faced. It was how we problem-solved our ways into accord and into common cause. How did I end up in this very non-judgmental, almost uncomfortably civil context? And how would I survive? 

Ten years later, I’m glad for all that I’ve learned here in northern California about how to get along with other people. My husband would probably say that some of my rough edges coming out of growing up in New York needed some polishing after getting sharpened over a decade in Cambridge. But it’s funny. I met a friend at a park in my city a few weeks ago – and after a brief conversation, we realized: we’re both from the northeast. No wonder we get each other. There’s common ground we share in our straightforwardness, willingness to be vulnerable and desire to simply say what we think! 

How refreshing it is to have someone tell you what they really think – even when it isn’t what you might expect! “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips!” as it says in Proverbs 24:26.  It’s refreshing; it’s intimate. It awakens greater freedom to speak my mind and share my heart. 

This makes me think of an Advent lectionary passage I wove into a sermon a few years back in which, “Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other” (Psalm 85:10). I would love to see both those actions enacted more in daily life. 

I’ll confess that my favorite movie genre, which my husband rarely seems up for (it’s okay, I still love him), is a fun romantic comedy. Some of my favorite moments as a pastor have been watching two people fall in love over the course of time and helping them get married! I just officiated a post-Covid in-person wedding celebration this past weekend of two friends who met through us. Honestly, God matchmade them – but we were so privileged to watch it unfold. 

All that said, why is it that sometimes in our closest relationships, we get away with being the most uncivil? I would never hang up the phone on a friend or colleague… but I will confess to hanging up on my dear husband in a fit of rage. 

Yet, much as I hate to admit that I do have my fits of rage, God in his graciousness allows my anger to surface my true feelings, my most honest thoughts – and John in his graciousness, hears me. He pays attention. He draws near. And he honestly answers me with his deepest thoughts, his reflections. An honest answer becomes a kiss on the lips. Love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss. 

In closing, I leave you with a closing thought from the Apostle Paul:

23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. 

2 Timothy 2:23-26

This seems to be quite a direct way to tell us how to be civil, how to be gentle even when instructing others, and how to resist the enemy, who frankly loves to exploit every difference between us. These past few years have been exceedingly difficult and trying on families, churches, and communities all over this country and our world. In so many ways, I call us to look to the Lord, our God of grace and truth, to be the first and final word. Oh, how he loves us. How much he desires to guide and direct us. How much he forgives us. May we do the same, speaking truth to others, honestly, lovingly, bravely. 

Tina Teng-Henson is a wife and a mother, a minister and a friend. She is beginning spiritual direction training this fall and hopes to work on a DMin in a year’s time to process the last decade of church ministry in the Bay Area. She welcomes one-on-one conversations and opportunities to be in the word of God and to pray.

By Jerrica KF Ching

Until recently, I would never consider myself someone who liked being outdoors.  For the majority of my life, despite being born and raised in Honolulu, Hawaii and living there until I was twenty-two, I loved being indoors.  I moved to Oregon in 2014 and continued my appreciation for staying inside, give or take a few drives out to the coastline to spend time on beaches that were vastly different than the ones in Hawaii.  Occasionally there would be a hike or two I’d go on with my friends.  But if you asked me if I wanted to do something indoors or outdoors, I would almost undoubtedly choose something inside away from the elements.

By Melanie Mar Chow

“They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life. 

(I Tim. 6:18-19)

As a young Christian, I remember the following lyrics of the song, He’s Everything to Me:.

In the stars His handiwork I see,

On the wind, He speaks with majesty,

Though he ruleth over land and sea, what is that to me?

By Angela Ryo

One of my favorite seminary professors is an Old Testament professor, Dr. Hiebert, who loves the earth. Until I took his class in the first year of seminary, the relationship I had with God’s creation was based on Genesis 1:28 (NRSV): “God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.” We were created to have “dominion” over the earth and that meant we could do with it as we pleased. The original Hebrew verb that gets translated as “have dominion” in Gen. 1:28 is “radah,” which is often used in the context of ruling over enemies in the Old Testament.

By Ajung Sojwal

Two years ago, coming to terms with the situation of what I imagined house arrest might be like, I proceeded to convert one of the rooms in our house to become my office. I hung my prized print of He Qi’s Crucifixion #1 on the wall directly opposite my desk. As I write this, I see my cheap print of the magnificent painting with the folks crowding around the foot of Jesus’ cross. Every single person at the scene of the crucifixion seems desperate for something from Jesus; there’s even a prison cell floating behind the cross, with, of course, someone looking from behind the bars. Not a moment of peace even in his dying hours for one whose birth was announced with, “peace be with you.” With that frozen scene of violence before me I wonder what peacemaking means for me these days.

By Casey Iwanaga

Peace

God is not an angry God 

He can be an angry father, a just disciplinary, a vengeful God

He doesn’t hold grudges or point fingers 

When we are angry He waits; 

waits for us to find peace within ourselves, 

waits until we want Him in our lives 

waits until we can be at peace with his will 

Peace comes when we can be okay with change and God’s involvement 

Not an automatic response from sinners who want their freewill and control 

The cost of freewill is God not in our lives 

The prize of God’s involvement in our lives is peace 

Each person gets to decide what they want more 

Regardless everyone ends up chasing that feeling; peace 

Peace can be costly or completely free 

Casey Iwanaga is a junior at the University of California in Merced. Her father is a retired pastor currently serving as Chairman of the OMS Holiness Churches.

By Sarah D. Park

A few months ago, I experienced a conflict with a longtime friend, someone who I never doubted would always be a part of my life. We’ve had misunderstandings and disagreements before, but in this situation, for the first time, we could not talk our way through it. Instead, we took time apart from each other. For months, I walked around as if I had a hole in my body, my heart grasping at the empty space my friend had once occupied. I’d compulsively press upon the experience like a large discolored bruise, just to feel the ache again, confounded by a persisting “How could we get here?” Something so sure had shattered and my understanding of making peace had to change.

By Diana Kim

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

-Matthew 5:9-

When preaching for Children’s Ministry last week, I asked the students: “Do you think your friends and classmates can tell that you are a Christian just by the way you act?” Some immediately said “yes” (though I think this was just their Sunday School response training kicking in), others said “maybe” (they probably gave the question a little more thought than the students who answered “yes”), and some remained quiet. This is not just a question that can challenge elementary students; it should challenge all of us.

By Wendy Choy-Chan

A meeting is called to resolve the conflict. Each person presents the argument for or against. Everyone agrees to stand by the result of the vote so as to keep the unity of the group. Is peace the end product of this peacemaking process with the resolution of the conflict?

By Tina Teng-Henson

I’ve pulled back from active ministry for a season, tired from pastoring and parenting during the pandemic, somewhat discouraged by the state of Christian leadership in our country. Listening to the Mars Hill podcast this spring and summer reminded me of the spiritual abuse I’d seen in some churches – but didn’t paint the picture of how else we could be, what else we could do to work against Satan and his devices.