Photo by qmnonic
By Melanie Mar Chow
My goal at a recent 106-year-old church leader’s funeral was to listen carefully to what would be shared about a full life lived well and an example for others. A grandson shared that any time a family dinner was called, he knew it would be a three-hour commitment for their immediate family (including his grandpa, grandma, mom & aunt’s families, and an in-law).
That thought made me conjecture that if it was like any Chinese family meal, three hours was not just a time to gather and experience a great meal. As this life celebration finished with a banquet, it made me treasure the feast not only as a testimony to his life but also to catch a glimpse of the same grandson sitting with his immediate family as an invitation to revisit and embrace Chinese New Year 2012 for my own family.
This event upholds traditions of a new start for life, with new clothes, clean homes and foods symbolizing abundance and good fortune. Family dinner is analogous to these, as my grandmother stressed how noodles represent longevity, fish for its Chinese word (yu) symbolizes wealth, so also the word for tangerines, a common gift for relatives. Red envelopes, of course, share wealth from generation to generation. A good Chinese wife and mom often spent hours in her kitchen in preparation. A woman in my exercise class lamented the loss of traditions like “jai” a vegetarian dish representing prosperity that requires long preparation time in soaking, chopping and steaming, gone because of her work demands. Her consolation of such loss now is to gather her family at a restaurant instead.
Questions bombarded me as I was trying to console myself of such losses. As a busy woman, am I party to destroying tradition or can I redeem cultural values for the sake of Christ? Can we identify parts of our individual cultures to be embraced as we grow deeper in love with Jesus? Though traditions may be diminished, will I fight to attend the monthly three-hour family dinner despite my busy schedule? Can we seize opportunities to provide opportunities for precious memories that our life can be a blessing to others regardless of the day and the celebration? The values of family experiencing multi-generational storytelling and skills for cooking “old style” meals are simple enough to pass on experiences and culture unique to our individual identities to those we love. A shared table and sneaking peeks of who eats the head of the chicken begins the pursuit of finding out how values align with Christ’s works. My pastor says our children will always say “yes” to red envelopes. This Asian American woman in leadership says YES to striving to embrace transitioning traditions and cultural values to bless my God for family and friends. As such, I extend my wishes all, “Gung Hay Fat Choy!”
Rev. Melanie Mar Chow serves God through Asian American Christian Fellowship, the campus ministry division of the Japanese Evangelical Missionary Society (JEMS). She has been an ordained American Baptist minister since 2004. A Pacific Northwest native, she currently lives with her husband and daughter in Southern California.
