Photo by kevin dooley

By Ann Chen

“Are you willing to lay down your dreams for a season, even the ones I’ve given you? It will be glorious.”

In September of 2011, I went on a personal retreat for my 30^th birthday at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. One of the days there, I had a chance to be prayed over. As the man prayed, he told me he heard God asking me this question. I remember at the time telling God in my spirit, “Yes! Anything, Lord!” despite having no idea what God was asking of me.

Fast-forward 5 months. One week in February, I had felt the Lord asking me to consider putting aside the last year of seminary and the two degrees I was pursuing, and commit to a long-term overseas church-planting team with my church, Epicentre. It seemed that the door God seemed to be opening was to join a team that would be heading out to Malawi for a commitment of 2.5 years.

While I went to Fuller with a desire to explore church planting and overseas missions work, I had always thought that it would be much further off in the future, until I had at least finished my degrees, and more ideally, after I had gotten married. Additionally, I had always thought that if I were going to be going overseas, it would be to Asia, the continent God had burdened on my heart over the past 8 years.

Joining this pioneer team to Malawi would mean none of my dreams I had for my life would be taking place. I would be going to Africa, a continent I have never had a desire to go to, as a single woman in her early 30s. By the time I returned, I’d be in my mid-thirties already! This obviously raised a lot of questions and concerns that I directed towards God. What about all the promise you’ve given me about marriage? About family? About Asia? This makes no sense!

Except, God reminded me of that question he asked me back in September. It resonated and kept repeating in my spirit so loudly. And I knew. I knew Malawi was where God was leading me. And I knew He was asking me to lay down my dreams of marriage, family, Asia for a season.

I remembered what I had said back then, and once again, I knew what my answer would be now.

It seems for the time being that I am laying down so many of my own dreams and even promises God had spoken over me, yet I know that it is only in following God that my heart will truly be fulfilled. I have no idea what lies ahead as I head out to Africa. I have even less idea how the rest of my life will play out. It still doesn’t make total sense to me. But I know that the road in following God often doesn’t make sense. However, I know that it’s going to be absolutely worth it. And it will indeed be glorious.

Ann Chen is a student at Fuller Theological Seminary getting a dual degree in Intercultural Studies and Theology & Ministry.  She has a BA in Urban Studies & Planning from UCSD, a Master’s in Education, and six years’ experience teaching middle school.  Ann attends Epicentre Church, and enjoys prayer and worship, playing piano & guitar, and discussions about church ministry.