Photo by Kenny Louie

By Christine Suh

“What’s the state of your soul? Let me clarify: I don’t mean, ‘saved versus unsaved.’ I mean, how is your soul doing? Is it energetic, weary, depleted, worn out, anticipatory, content, exhausted, confused, or disoriented? What is the state of your soul?”

These series of questions were asked by one of my mentors in the first week of my seminary studies. As we unpacked these questions together, he explained our souls are usually the most neglected part of our lives, and therefore, we need to intentionally take moments to slow down to hear how our souls are doing. He further said if we don’t attend to our souls, we will live and run at a pace that will eventually be unsustainable and disintegrated at our core.

As I began to investigate my own soul health, I reflected on several cultural norms of the Korean-American, evangelical, reformed context I had grown up in. I realized my notion of doing for God was often disconnected from being with God. I had come out of Christian leadership structures where “working for God” and “being used by God” were common verbiage affirmed in our ministry frameworks. Although these contexts birthed in me a love for Scripture, orthodox theology, and global missions, the constancy of doing had become my go-to mode for engaging God. I realized I did not know how to rest in God, enjoy God, or hear His voice in my life. I had become so addicted to work and hurry, noise and activity, that I rarely had any margin for quiet or rest in my life. My soul was weary and fractured.

In my weariness, Jesus’ invitation to come and find rest in Him (Matthew 11) felt like water to my thirsty soul. I didn’t need to do or perform something to be with Jesus. God created me to be a human being, not a human doing! He wanted me, just as I was, in all my disorientation and exhaustion, mess and brokenness, to fill me up with His unconditional, unwavering, inseparable love for me. Jesus’ words to abide in the Vine (John 15) gave me an even greater vision for this reality of rest. Instead of compartmentalizing my spiritual life as I’d done in the past, I began to see that God’s desire for me was to be in continual communion with Him. I started to seek the entirety of my life as an opportunity to do life with God, to co-create with Him in my ministry, my work, in my family and friendships, in the menial tasks of the day and in the public events I was a part of. In reframing my life with God, my soul began to experience more peace and congruence than ever before.

I discovered we cannot have a relationship with God on the run or by doing things for him. In the same way we cannot build genuine or sustainable friendships on the go, we need to be intentional about spending time with God. We look to Jesus’ example, and we see that even He had sacred rhythms of solitude, prayer, and the Word of God as a means to stay connected to the Father. Jesus says to his disciples, to us, “Apart from me, you can do nothing.” Do we really believe this? Do we see our relationship with Jesus as our lifeline?

I became convinced then and believe this now with even greater conviction: when we engage soul care, our sense of self becomes so deeply connected to God that we’re able to see our life circumstances in light of God’s constancy, faithfulness, grace. We take hold of our identity as beloved children of God and actualize the abundant life Jesus came to give!

Christine Suh is a LifeGroups pastor at Fellowship Monrovia. In her current role she oversees discipleship groups that are multi-ethnic, intergenerational, and committed to being transformed by the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Prior to her current role, she was the Assistant Director of Spiritual Formation and Care at Pepperdine University where she oversaw the student chaplaincy program and various spiritual life initiatives. She received her M.A. in Theology from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in 2010, her B.A. in Intercultural Communication from Pepperdine University, and is a graduate of the Renovare Institute for Christian Spiritual Formation. Christine is passionate about encouraging others to cultivate soul care and a vision for Christ-centered life transformation. She and her husband, David have been married for seven years and love doing life together with their young children, Samuel and Elisabeth.