Photo by Edward musiak

By Jerrica KF Ching

Throughout my entire time in the Pacific Northwest, I have wrestled with feeling torn between assimilation and acculturation. I have found it quite difficult to balance the values of family, collectivity, and interdependence that created the foundation on which I was raised, with wanting to be more assertive, independent, and viewed as an equal in the workplace.  If I were to describe my presence as an Asian American woman when I first moved from Hawaii to Oregon, it would be quiet, unnoticeable, and timid.

I am one of three Asian American employees working as a mental health therapist at a non-profit agency in Longview, WA.  At work I am viewed as someone who gets the job done and won’t complain.  The last character trait listed is one that I do not usually use to describe myself in work situations, and sometimes I feel that there is an assumption that Asian Americans are all passive and will simply do their job.  But it is not a simple process!  Personally I feel like the way I carry myself stems from words of my youth when grandparents would remind me to “be nice” and to “always listen.”  I am sure that how I act at work checks off all of the boxes on stereotypes of Asian American women, such as not causing problems for others, not speaking my mind, and doing things with great efficiency.

With today’s current political climate, I am finding myself becoming more accustomed to stepping out of my comfort zone and finding the confidence to speak my mind.  Sometimes it is not always easy to do so, as there have been moments when speaking my mind has stirred up past memories of older family members reminding me to not cause problems for others.  I am finding slowly but surely, however, that speaking out in small ways makes huge differences.  Identifying micro-aggressions in the workplace regarding Asian Americans has been a small step but a well-needed one to encourage my fellow coworkers to become more culturally sensitive.  I also became a certified Asian Pacific Islander Mental Health Specialist in an effort to provide clinical consultation for other therapists working with minority populations.  These small steps have helped my voice become louder and louder, and I am finally being heard by people in lots of different places.

When I was first informed that this month’s theme was “presence,” I reflected on how I feel this word is used often in the media and by others, and how I would want my own presence to be communicated to others.  When I hear about someone with presence, my first thought is someone who is either very charismatic, assertive, or sometimes even obnoxious.  It is because people with a louder presence make themselves known, regardless if there’s a desire from others to get to know them or not.  Jesus Himself did not always need to speak in front of thousands to gain their attention; instead he made his presence known through actions and through miracles.  It is a reminder that even though I, as an Asian American woman, may have a quieter presence at times, my presence is still just as important as others.  So even though there may be times that I feel defeated, let down, or discouraged, I am reminded that the tiniest of steps are still considered steps forward.

Jerrica KF Ching lives in the beautiful state of Washington and works as a Mental Health Primary Care Provider serving children, adolescents, and their families at Columbia Wellness.  She graduated with an MA in Marriage, Couple, and Family Counseling from George Fox University and is working towards becoming a licensed marriage and family therapist. Her research on racial colorblindness has recently been published in The International Journal of Social Science Studies.