By Jerrica KF Ching

I am sure that many, if not all of us, who are in helping professions are feeling the immense strain of working and serving during a year of turmoil.  It is a combination of a pandemic, an election year, and several civil movements that have left many feeling anxious, angry, apathetic, and more.  In the midst of ongoing external conflict between our city, state, and national leaders, I have also found myself fatigued by my own inner conflict I am experiencing on a day-to- day basis.

By Melanie Mar Chow

As a college student of psychology, I often found myself visiting the library to find useful articles to navigate the abnormalities of the changing pace of life.  I knew that four years would pass quickly.  I needed to find some idea of a career path in college, or else I would not know where to go next. I appreciated having at my fingertips friends in the field of psychology who brought insights. Those same spurts of seeking still happen, but now on the internet looking for psychological and spiritual input. 

By Debbie Gin

A clear memory from when I was in youth group has haunted me for four decades.  It wasn’t Thanksgiving, but when asked to share what aspect of the retreat we were thankful for, one by one, all the opbas and unnees (older “brothers” and “sisters”) expressed how much their parents had sacrificed for them to attend the gathering.  By the time we got around the large circle, we were all sobbing.

By Joy Wong

As this month’s blog theme is “denial,” I looked up references to the word in the Bible. There aren’t too many. But this famous verse popped up: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me'” (Matthew 16:24 NIV).

By Ajung Sojwal

I would like to think of myself as a reasonable, well-informed person who cannot and will not deny the evils of systemic racism. I also thought that the “Church” would never willfully perpetuate the evils of systemic racism; until a few years ago, when I found myself dumbfounded by the open declaration of a deeply racist belief from a high-ranking member of the clergy. At a meeting with the clergy person who had the authority and power to recruit and reject priests seeking a call, I was told of a black clergy colleague, “I don’t trust her, she is very dark.”

By Angela Ryo

One of the encounters I’ve treasured the most comes from the Bible. It’s a no-name character who often goes by the title of the “bleeding woman” or the “hemorrhaging woman” because she’s been bleeding for 12 years until she touches Jesus. At the lowest rung of her society, she is only identified by her disease.

By Casey Iwanaga

I was called to stand, stand in my shame and guilt in God’s light
I just wanted to run and hide in the dark
God’s light changed, from blinding to warm
He grabbed my hand as I turned to run
Just stood with me in His warm grace and love
Changing this unwanted, fearful encounter into a needed one
Full of acceptance and forgiveness
His warm light
A place I can stay forever

Casey Iwanaga is a junior at the University of California in Merced. Her father is a retired pastor currently serving as Chairman of the OMS Holiness Churches.

By Sarah D. Park

I grew up going to church retreats as a kid. I don’t know if this is a Korean church phenomenon, but it was normal to go up into the mountains to spend time with God once a year.

And the night before we had to go home, well, that was a special night. No cup ramen. No card games on the floor. The main sanctuary lights would be turned down low and the worship band would spontaneously begin to play moody background music. The youth pastor takes the stage, mic in hand and intensity in his gaze, calling out prepubescents to repent and cry out to their savior. Kids start falling to their knees, ugly crying into the carpet, scattered rows of small hunched over children shuddering into their tears.

By Diana Kim

As a single woman in ministry, I have struggled with loneliness for many years, even considering and accepting it as a vocational hazard. There seems to be very few people I can truly be open and honest with, as my opening up to them can seem like venting and complaining (which, sometimes it is), and make me sound ungrateful for the opportunities I’ve been given. The pastoral hat I wear seems to hide the fact that I am human, capable of feeling lonely; perhaps it is because people often imagine pastors to constantly be with others that pastors suffering through loneliness doesn’t seem to be possible, or perhaps it’s because we are “one with God” that pastors are expected to never feel lonely.

Photo by Alessio Maffeis

By Wendy Choy-Chan

The lie was that they could become like God, knowing good and evil. Little did Adam and Eve know that what they became was a twisted version of a monadic, exclusive god, with power and authority, but without communion, no more communion with the one true God and no more communion with each other.

And the lie continued. Cain killed to become the exclusive giver acceptable to God; the brothers sold Joseph to get rid of the exclusive beloved of their father, Jacob; Saul hunted down David to be the exclusive anointed king of Israel. The lie twisted the whole reality. Instead of a power that spread goodness and an authority that benefitted others, it was now a power that accumulated goodness for self and an authority that benefitted self. Continue Reading »