Photo by juliejordanscott

Shared by Anita Liu

An area in which God has been challenging me is the area of reconciliation and forgiving others — and being humble.  From recent events in my family and life, I’ve been seeing that people wrong each other all the time.  I find that as an Asian American woman, or perhaps simply as an Asian, I am very prideful.  I’ve been challenged to realize my own inadequacies and sinfulness, understanding that Jesus Christ died for my sins and that I can’t say to another person, “Wow, you’re a hypocrite” or “You did wrong to me, I am better and I’m not going to forgive you.”  In Christ, there’s really nothing that’s unforgivable.  We are all sinful and depraved and we all deserve death, as stated in Romans 3:23, and not one of us is righteous. We should, as the Body of Christ, work towards reconciling with people and showing God’s love as an extension of ourselves.

Before, I used to hold grudges and I would “save face” and hold it in.  If somebody said something offensive, I didn’t say anything back.  However, eventually there’d be a trigger and everything I held inside would come out.  Over time, I realized that was very unhealthy. All the hurt and wrong that had been committed against me were never resolved. Unresolved hurt and emotions without an understanding of the root of the issue is very dangerous. It either all builds up to a boiling point or causes you to become very bitter.

Instead of letting my feelings build to a boiling point or fester into bitterness, I’ve been learning what it means to speak the truth in love, to work with people I might not like and who may have hurt me. Expressing and talking about emotions is hard for me, especially with how I was raised. When I am overcome with feelings of self-pity and hurt, I’m reminded of God’s sovereignty in my life. The phrase “What would Jesus do?” is so cliché, but very true.  If anyone can claim the right to be bitter or offended, it’s Jesus.  He died a sinless death on the cross for our sins. To be in God and to be in the right spirit, forgiveness and reconciliation asks from us not to be mean or bitter or talk down to the person – but rather, to try and love the person and always hope that the person is moving towards knowing and loving God in a greater way.

I have learned that you should always offer forgiveness, just like Christ forgave us of our sins. Try not to hold grudges. Forgiveness does not mean you forget the wrong that the person committed but that you no longer hold it against the person. Reconciliation takes two willing parties to work out their differences in seeking truth, love and rebuilding a relationship. Sometimes the relationship is not the same and that is okay. I like to think that if you have offered forgiveness but the other party is unwilling to forgive or reconcile, you have done what you can.

Nobody’s perfect and everyone makes mistakes.  There is no sin that God has not already understood and felt the pain for.  In all honesty, I still struggle with loving others, but with recent challenges in my life, I feel big changes are happening, moving me in the right direction. I am truly thankful for the blessings of experiencing God each day.

Anita Liu is a Physician Assistant who works in a pediatric office in Brooklyn, NY.  She has a passion to help those without access to healthcare, and has been to Africa four times on short-term medical missions trips.  Anita serves as a leader at her local church, specifically in college ministry, mission’s mobilization, and raising awareness of social justice issues. She has many hobbies including reading, exercise (she’s currently learning how to box), taking walks on the beach, and dancing.

 Interviewed by Joy Wong