Photo by craftivist collective

By Young Lee Hertig

While reflecting on the five dimensions of Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, I am struck by the impending disruption of AI (Artificial Intelligence) that would replace large numbers at the workforce. Will we be vulnerable to artificial emotion?  It seems feasible sooner than later.  How then do we decipher authentic emotions from artificial emotions?  These issues merit a series of blogs for later but for now, I will reflect on human social skills.

Daniel Goleman’s five dimensions of EQ are crucial for all kinds of leadership but are often neglected in leadership formation curriculums.  They are 1) self-awareness; 2) self-regulation; 3) inner motivation; 4) empathy; 5) social skills.  All of them are interwoven and thus integrative if one were to master social skills.  In fact, social skills are byproducts of all four dimensions that involve being more than doing.  In other words, one’s depth of self-understanding determines the quality of social skills.  For example, self-awareness leads to self-regulation, and that helps us discern our inner motivation.  Empathy helps us toward a receptor-oriented communication.  The more apt we are in putting ourselves in others’ shoes, the more likely we gain social capital.  Let me share a positive example of social skills below.

Marty Coleman, in Pasadena, has been a champion of social and climate justice for over three decades.  Prior to being “awoken” to the injustice around her in her middle age, her nickname was “Marty Party.”  She transformed from Marty Party into a social activist and eventually found herself at the table with Mikhail Gorbachev in addressing the disarmament of nuclear weapons. What makes her a wellspring, despite outliving her first and second husbands, is her radical love.  She is always full of love, hugs, and kisses and embodies hope and light while tackling all the troubles in the world from climate change to disarmament.  She makes everyone feels loved the moment they see her.  At age 86, she still gathers people in her house and into her ascetic backyard to inject the spirit of love and action.

The French philosopher, Romaine Rolland stated that we all are given a one-way ticket in this life, not a round-trip ticket.  Therefore, I want to embody the radical love that my mentor Marty embodies.  Engagement, not estrangement, is the essential social skill.  I live my life with gratitude for people like her whom God has placed in my path.  Some are still here but others have left this earth.  I have a lot more to learn when it comes to social skills that strikes the right balance of niceties with authenticity at the right time with the right people.  No wonder I am still on this earth plowing along.

Rev. Dr. Young Lee Hertig is executive director and a founding member of ISAAC (Institute for the Study of Asian American Christianity) and AAWOL (Asian American Women On Leadership). She teaches in the Global Studies and Sociology Department at Azusa Pacific University and is an ordained Presbyterian clergy as well as a commissioner of the Presbyterian Church USA to the National Council of Churches Faith and Order.