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Posts Tagged ‘shame’

Photo by seier+seier

By Margaret Yu

For the fellow women friends with whom I journey, inspired by I John 4:18-19:  “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  We love because he first loved us”  and John 8:58:  “’Very truly I tell you,’ Jesus answered, ‘before Abraham was born, I AM!’”

Fearful

i am not enough

i am doing it all wrong

i am not good enough

i am not Asian enough

i am not White enough

i am simply not good enough (more…)

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A New Name

Photo by 丹涅拉 - Dani Gama

By Angela Song

Earlier this year, I found myself unusually tired. Tired of being afraid, tired of having so many fears, tired of the fishbone that’s been stuck in my throat since the age of seven.  Out of desperation, I got into a shouting match with God, only to find that He was leading me to the Jabbok River, to a vision of Jacob wrestling the angel of God.  That night, He gave me a revelation of who I was in the Spirit, but before I could fully claim it, I had to wrestle Him to prove that I would commit to an enduring struggle for a new name if that was what it meant to be free.  He won. (more…)

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Photo by MarcinMoga/Lolek

by Joy Wong

I was sitting in Dale S. Ryan‘s class called “Recovery Ministry and the Local Church,” and the topic of discussion was receiving from God.  Dale pointed out that receiving from God should be so simple, like a child receiving a gift, but it is often complicated by adults. We often don’t trust the gift or the Giver, suspicious that the gift requires something in return. He then asked the rhetorical question, “What could be more precious than coming to God with our needs?” (more…)

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Photo by Sweet Trade Photography

by Debbie Gin

I used to question my integrity a lot.  I felt twinges of shame whenever I interacted with people because I thought I wasn’t “the real me” in every context.  I behaved one way with my peers, another way with my family, and yet another way with my professors. I thought of myself as a fraud, a chameleon, easily changed by the presenting situation. At times, I even wondered whether I was “prostituting” myself out, becoming whatever my context needed me to be.

I also felt pressure to find my own path but felt conflicted on several levels. On the one hand, I resented my parents’ strong influence and expectations; (more…)

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