By Joy Wong
Last week, I was asked by Fuller’s Asian American Theological Fellowship (AATF) whether I could think of a recent Fuller seminary graduate (ideally out of seminary for 3-5 years) in Southern California who was 1) Asian American, 2) a woman, and 3) currently serving in a church. You would think that I’d have the connections to find someone — not only have I been at Fuller since 2005, but also I’ve stayed in the area until now, and I was a leader in the Chinese Student Fellowship for two years. Even if I didn’t know anyone, I felt certain that someone I knew would know somebody who fit those qualifications. However, after emailing all my contacts without result and fruitlessly racking my brain trying to think of somebody, I gave up. It never occurred to me how scarce seminary-trained Asian American women in church ministry are!
Not that I should be surprised. Even at Fuller Theological Seminary, where women are supported in egalitarianism, I remember being able to count the number of women that I knew in the M.Div program on one hand. The picture I’ve posted was my Greek Intensive class in fall 2006. I was the only woman in a class of 24 students! (Lucky for me, this wasn’t the case in all my classes.)
But coming face to face with the reality of the lack of Asian American woman ministers, I find myself thinking, Well, I’ve got the M.Div. Why don’t I just go for it? Clearly there’s a gap to fill. Indeed, one of my motivations for studying at seminary was observing the lack of mentorship for women in a church of all male pastors. On one hand, it seems to make sense to just plunge into ministry. My academic orientation had me scoring As in nearly all my classes, including preaching. If I have all the skills, why not take the dive?
On the other hand, understanding the many perils of ministry, I feel strongly that my participation in ministry needs to be motivated by more than just a desire to fill a need. I still remember years ago when I was first assigned to be the worship leader for Manna Christian Fellowship, my college campus fellowship at Princeton University. The idea of taking on this leadership role was terrifying for me — not to mention that I had all sorts of doubts: Would men follow a woman leader? Am I fully equipped? Do I have what it takes? And most importantly, is God with me in this, fully supportive of me as a leader? In the end, what gave me the courage to lead in confidence was a very clear call from God. A plethora of confirmations — through others, through Scripture, during my prayer times, etc. strengthened me despite my fear, and gave me confidence that God was, indeed, with me. Despite all internal and external obstacles during my worship leading experience, it was this clear call that anchored me amidst all the storms.
In the same way, I’ve decided that instead of jumping to fill the need, I will need to wait for my call. I’m comforted in knowing that this is not unique to Asian American women seminarians. A few of my male seminary classmates are also in a similar place, searching for God’s guidance, discerning their call, and waiting for the green light to go. At times I ask, ” How long, Oh Lord?” but I have peace in knowing that the God who has taken me thus far will not abandon me now. And so I wait.
Joy Wong completed a Masters of Divinity degree at Fuller Theological Seminary. She and her husband currently attend New City Church of Los Angeles. To contact Joy, please send your inquiry to aawolsisters@gmail.com.
Wow! There is a Korean proverb that says, 100 words cannot measure upto one picture. Your Greek class photo confirms why Asian American female pastors who are in ministry have become an endangered species. I appreciate your spiritual discipline of discernment. Although it may be frustrating at times and feel like a detour, it is a priceless investment that will ground you (when the going gets tough, the tough gets going).
Given your appreciation for pictures, I knew you’d like this one, Young!:) Thanks for all your support and encouragement in this season of discernment in my life!